well. someone prayed for me, because this was my favorite minicamp i've ever had.
when we don't have a full camp(which is usually), we have to close certain cabins and assign their staffers to float in other cabins. mine was closed this week, so i got to help out in my favorite wonderful cabin 5. and as much as i love being a cabin leader, it's always good to have a break and be second in command for a while.
our girls were perfect. i bawled this morning when they left. every one of them wants to come back for a week next year.
i was walking down the hill with our last four that had been called to leave, and one of them asked me "do you cry when every group leaves?" i said "don't tell the others, but no...i love all of them and i'm sad to see them go, but i don't actually cry very often." she said "well dang what are you carrying on for now? we aren't that special!" i looked at her and i said "yes you ARE!" she looked surprised, in a good way, and asked "really? wow..." and one of the others with her hugged me and said "well you're special too!" and i lost it again.
it's true that i don't cry for all my campers anymore(my first two summers i lost it over every group). and when i do now, there is a good kind and a bad kind.
the good kind is what i was today when two of my most special campers left. S and B are sisters and i had them in cabin 5 for mother-daughter minicamp in 2010. (then last year B came for a week, and S came for a mother-daughter overnight and then a few weeks later for a minicamp by herself)
okay pause. i'll get back to the good/bad sad thing but i have to talk about these girls a bit.
both S and B are two of the sweetest, most helpful kids you'll ever meet. they're great listeners but they do love to talk too. they're both really funny but in their own ways. they're crazy smart and seem way older than 9 and 11. they're the kind of campers who i wish could stay at camp and hang out with the staff on weekends.
anyways. these two have a great life outside of camp. last year when B left she said "i'm kind of sad to leave camp...but i can't wait to talk to my mom about it!" i know they're loved, they hear about Jesus at home, and they understand how special they are. this is an example of the good kind of sad. as much as i love them, and i'm sad to not get to see them for another year, i'm happy knowing they'll be okay until i see them again, and if for some reason they don't get to come back, i know they'll still be okay, and they'll remember how much i love them. i guess bittersweet is the right word for the "good sad."
the second kind of sad is actually sad. like the lost and hopeless kind of sad. see, there are some girls who, even if they don't outright tell you, you just know by the way they respond to you and to camp in general that they haven't gotten a lot of love. and when you send them home on friday, you don't know whether they'll be loved before they come back, if they come back at all.
this kind of sad is one of the worst feelings in the world. (for me, the day after Christmas and the first day of school combined would about sum it up) especially when you know for a fact that that child is going home to a place where they aren't shown how precious they are. when you see their parents come pick them up, and all you can think is, i've only known your child for five days and i love her to death, how can you have known her all her life and not care even a bit about her?
two weeks ago i had a "bad sad" last day, and i'm still worried about her. today, i'm thankful for my "good sad" feeling for S and B. i love those girls like crazy, but i'm glad that they were happy to be going home.
so my favorite story of the week obviously comes from them.
i was helping them and the other two girls from their church take their stuff to their van, and S and B come up on either sides of me with their arms around me. S says[note that she has the most adorable lisp] "we have a serious question for you." i said i had a serious answer. B says "can we adopt you?" i look back and forth between them at their big puppy eyes, and i said "well, i have to stay at camp for a few more weeks and then i'll be at school...so why don't i adopt yall instead?"
as S lost it and started giggling, B looks up and says "well, i don't want to make you feel bad, but we REALLY love our mom." i said "well i love my mom too! so i'll just adopt you and we'll work out visiting times."
S puts her hands on her hips and says in the most sarcastic tone a nine year old can work up, "you're a GROWNUP. you don't even see your mom every day! it just makes sense for you to be the one to get adopted."
by then we had gotten to their car and i had started crying again(B is too sensible to cry over leaving camp, but S had joined me with the waterworks), so we decided that the best deal we could work out was for them to come back to camp and me to be their mom away from home(S's idea), and if for some reason i didn't come to camp, we'd settle for being sisters in Jesus(B's idea).
so now i'm home for a few days, being an adult and taking care of school things now instead of in the two days i have between leaving camp and moving back in. besides that, i just need serious rest. so i'm getting some time with God and a mental vacation, then coming back strong for the last two weeks.
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