every one of my summers has had a theme.
growing up very fast.
letting go.
beautiful friendships.
my weakness and God's working anyways.
normally it takes me a few months after summer's end to come up with a word for it. but i've known what to call this one since may.
back in february, me and kathleen went to do a camp promo together in camden. we were talking about how we both wanted this summer to be all about prayer. we wanted to ask God to do big things, not just to help us do the little we thought we could. so we agreed on two big things we wanted to pray together for over the next few months.
we asked God for 1500 campers. we got 1598.
we asked him for 30 staffers. we got 31. and not only that, but as a bonus, he gave us the most guys(and the BEST guys, no less) that we've ever had to work for coed week.
those were the two biggest and most significant, because they were so specific and we'd prayed for a long time. but there were others too.
me and hope started praying together for the staff in late march early april-ish. we agreed that both of our biggest concern was unity. so we asked God to bring us all together like we'd never seen before. as i've written in so many posts already, he gave us a community so infinitely beyond anything i imagined, even in my "what the staff would be in a perfect world."
when me and carrie went to camp mccall for adventure rec training, she told me how she'd been praying a lot about what to do after graduation next year. over the next couple days i prayed for her too. and over those few days, God showed her exactly what he wanted. that was when i knew it was gonna be an amazing summer; before camp had even started God was already doing huge things.
i asked God to show me something new. well, what i actually said was, "surprise me." he showed me the heart for acteens i had no idea i'd had.
i asked him to give me a clear answer about something he'd been tugging at my heart about for a few months. he gave it to me.
and while this sounds really minor, it was a really crazy answer and a big deal for me. in may i found out that training camp for cross country was the same dates as the last week at la vida. so i'd have to either go back to school 3 hours after the second to last week of camp ended and miss the goodbye ceremony and a lot of my most special campers, or stay for camp and be impossibly behind the rest of the team. i knew cross country was a God thing, but i also knew camp was where i was supposed to be, so i was flip flopping between the two all summer long. some time in mid july i knew that even though it would be really hard to catch up with my running, camp was where i needed to be. three days after i said yes to God, i got an email saying cross country had been bumped up a week. not only would i get to stay for all of camp, but i'd get a day in between to rest before i moved into school.
prayer works. i'm convinced that that's what made this summer so different for me.
on sunday night, our end-of-summer sharing time lasted longer than it ever has in other years(though, to be fair, it was on a monday morning one year and a wednesday during rest time another), and almost all the stories had to do with things people had prayed about and seen answered. big, small, or just plain crazy things have happened simply because we asked God for them.
the moral of the story: in the words of hawk nelson, life would be so simple if we all just learned to pray.
i'm already lifting up next summer. =]
and this is the confidence we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. and if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.~1 john 5:14-15
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
sooner or later.
this summer has passed by in the weirdest of ways.
time wise, it's felt like a week and a half.
relationship wise, it's felt like four years.
but either way, it's over.
sooner or later, summer was over, and we lost everything.
i said last year that it never gets any easier to leave. but i've been saying for the past few weeks that i didn't think it'd be so hard this time. see, last year when i left, i didn't think i was ever coming back. but this year i've known since the second week that i'll be back(unless God very drastically changes his mind). so i figured that would make it easier.
but it's never leaving camp that's so hard. it's leaving my family.
no matter how many years i come back, it'll never be the same staff. yes, we'll have a LOT of returners next year, but not everyone. so knowing that it was the last day this staff, the best staff i've ever been part of, will be together, made it the hardest it's ever been to go.
this is the closest the staff has ever gotten as a whole. the level most get to in a whole summer, we got to orientation week. we're sisters.
and i'll be lost without them.
time wise, it's felt like a week and a half.
relationship wise, it's felt like four years.
but either way, it's over.
sooner or later, summer was over, and we lost everything.
i said last year that it never gets any easier to leave. but i've been saying for the past few weeks that i didn't think it'd be so hard this time. see, last year when i left, i didn't think i was ever coming back. but this year i've known since the second week that i'll be back(unless God very drastically changes his mind). so i figured that would make it easier.
but it's never leaving camp that's so hard. it's leaving my family.
no matter how many years i come back, it'll never be the same staff. yes, we'll have a LOT of returners next year, but not everyone. so knowing that it was the last day this staff, the best staff i've ever been part of, will be together, made it the hardest it's ever been to go.
this is the closest the staff has ever gotten as a whole. the level most get to in a whole summer, we got to orientation week. we're sisters.
and i'll be lost without them.
week 8: end-of-summer surprises.
i never knew i was capable of loving any campers this ridiculously much. then i got a cabin full of acteens.
and up until monday at about 10:22, i didn't think i'd be saying anything like that at the end of the week.
i'm at the opposite of a "loss for words" right now. i have so many words, so many big feelings, WAY too many incredible stories. i have no idea what to write or how to.
so i'm gonna tell a story first.
last friday afternoon, while i was waiting for my girls to leave, cindy came and asked me if i would be okay with having my cabin closed and working with the older girls this week.
what i thought i was signing up for? being a staffer in a cabin of sixth graders.
i got all excited and said of course i would. i figured it'd be the perfect last week: low maintenance campers that i'm not ultimately in charge of, tons of time to clean my other cabin, pack, hang out with other cabins when my cabin leader didn't need me, roll out of bed at 7:15 and walk to flags...etc etc.
well. a little later i was in the admin talking about how awesome this was, and bobbie tells me what i was actually signing up for: still being a cabin leader, just in cabin 2 instead of 8, for 7th-9th graders.
i freaked out worse than i did the day of my first mother-daughter camp. i came up with every excuse in the book to get out of it.
"i'm not cool enough for 14 year olds to listen to me!"
"i still look like i'm one of these girls!"
"i've never read the hunger games!"
"i don't know all the secrets of life yet!"
after spilling these out in rapid succession, bobbie looks at me and says "so you don't want to be cabin leader?" and my orange self(i'll explain that in a later post) heard a challenge somewhere in there, and said "well i'll DO it, but i won't be GOOD at it and these girls are NOT gonna want someone like me leading them..." and so on.
sunday night, i was still worried but in a more calm and serious way. i honestly thought there was no way i could be the kind of leader that girls that age need. little girls need you to braid their hair, hold their hands, and listen to endless stories about their pets; but once they hit middle school, they need you in a whole different way.
i told God all of this while i was trying to sleep that night. and he started bringing to my mind all the reasons why i loved my staffers when i was that age(another post about all of that is coming later too). i got out of bed and wrote down a whole list. i looked at it, and i still felt like i couldn't do it...but i also had that weird peace, where you're scared to death but at the same time you totally know God has a surprise coming.
and bless it, he had a big one.
not only was it THE perfect last week, it was one of the most incredible weeks of my whole "career" at camp.
important side note: the last week is already a special one every year. not only do all the staff suddenly embrace camp all over again because it's the LAST week, but there are some very special campers called Last Week Campers. these girls come the last week every year, and most of them have been doing this for years and years. half of them have been in each other's cabins before or at least know each other from past years. and all of them just love camp so much.
a while ago, i wrote about the relationship-y side and the leadership-y side of camp, and how i'm way over on the relationship-y side(explained here if you want, but it's really long). i thought that would be a bad thing for working with older campers; how are they supposed to take me seriously if all i want to do is be their friend?
but that's the whole point. you have to be their friend if you want them to take you seriously. it is ALL about relationship for them.
basically, i was made for acteens. who knew?
me and God and my girls all together made our week the most insane amount of fun. they had awesome attitudes about everything(from cleaning up after meals to listening in Bible study to picking up other cabins' trash to wearing dumb hats to breakfast). they were best friends within an hour. they were always ready to have fun, but just as ready to be serious and listen when it was time.
we loved each other like crazy. we laughed, we cried, we learned the story of stephen in a whole new way, we lost cabin capers every day because talking was more fun than cleaning...i could tell stories for a month. please ask me about it next time you see me.
i didn't feel like a cabin leader this week. i felt like we were all sisters, and i was just the big sister that the younger ones loved and looked up to. (and i felt really old on thursday night when someone reminded me that i'm eight or nine years older than most of them! wasn't it just yesterday that i wasn't allowed to tell any acteen campers my age because i was so young?)
when everyone told me how great it was to work with older ones, they never mentioned how much harder it is to say goodbye. each one took a little piece of my heart this week, and forgot to give it back on friday...so twelve pieces of my heart are now spread around south carolina.
but they're all coming back the last week next year. =] (and that's not just me saying it, like when i say "oh yes you ARE coming back" or something. when we were hugging and crying after lunch, they were all telling each other "it's okay, same time next year right?" and after agreeing, 24 eyes turn and burn holes in me, and one of them says "and linda. you HAVE to come back. or we'll be like, depressed, literally, the whole week.")
i'm gonna do a whole post about what i learned this week later. so i'll just skip to my amazing camper story of the week. even though there were SO many...
little A, who was super shy the first day, thought it was going to be a totally boring week, and told me that night not to hug her because "i don't mean to be rude, but it's just, it's like you're my mom, and that creeps me out." then she kept opening up more and more as the week went on, until thursday at bedtime she pulled me aside and said, "well, i kinda have a problem. see, i don't wanna leave? and like...this has been the most fun night of my life...and i love everybody here so much...and you know how you cried earlier? well i might do that tomorrow. is that okay?" then she added "can you be my mom? i mean not my real mom, but you're like my mom and i really love you."
B, who's been "my" camper for so many years, knew everything about camp and took all the first time campers under her wing. and she put on her camper survey that her favorite part of camp was meals, not just because the food is delicious, but mostly because of our fun conversations.(and i agree with her)
and C, who made it so hard to eat because she had us laughing too hard every day, who taught us that a worse singer than justin bieber DOES exist, and who knocked morgan and bean off the throne of "best dumb as a stick performers ever."
and don't even get me started on all of cabin 1. our cabin set was so awesome! all of our girls just floated together. they all made friends with each other and i was just as sad to see kathleen's girls leave as i was for my own.
then my adventure rec group was amazing, as 99% of acteen groups are. even though they had all done it before, so they knew all the "answers" for debriefing. but they just had so much fun together. until this week i'd never had a whole group change their minds and beg to finish the ropes course instead of climbing the rock wall. they loved each other. they wanted to do everything and never complained, even when it rained two days in a row and we had to play games in the unit 4 building so many hours(and i've never had that much fun playing them! i could have spent all 4 days that way and been fine).
i love my job so much. and as usual, after the best week of it, it's done for another year.
but that's another story for another post. which will be coming in the next hour or so. =]
and up until monday at about 10:22, i didn't think i'd be saying anything like that at the end of the week.
i'm at the opposite of a "loss for words" right now. i have so many words, so many big feelings, WAY too many incredible stories. i have no idea what to write or how to.
so i'm gonna tell a story first.
last friday afternoon, while i was waiting for my girls to leave, cindy came and asked me if i would be okay with having my cabin closed and working with the older girls this week.
what i thought i was signing up for? being a staffer in a cabin of sixth graders.
i got all excited and said of course i would. i figured it'd be the perfect last week: low maintenance campers that i'm not ultimately in charge of, tons of time to clean my other cabin, pack, hang out with other cabins when my cabin leader didn't need me, roll out of bed at 7:15 and walk to flags...etc etc.
well. a little later i was in the admin talking about how awesome this was, and bobbie tells me what i was actually signing up for: still being a cabin leader, just in cabin 2 instead of 8, for 7th-9th graders.
i freaked out worse than i did the day of my first mother-daughter camp. i came up with every excuse in the book to get out of it.
"i'm not cool enough for 14 year olds to listen to me!"
"i still look like i'm one of these girls!"
"i've never read the hunger games!"
"i don't know all the secrets of life yet!"
after spilling these out in rapid succession, bobbie looks at me and says "so you don't want to be cabin leader?" and my orange self(i'll explain that in a later post) heard a challenge somewhere in there, and said "well i'll DO it, but i won't be GOOD at it and these girls are NOT gonna want someone like me leading them..." and so on.
sunday night, i was still worried but in a more calm and serious way. i honestly thought there was no way i could be the kind of leader that girls that age need. little girls need you to braid their hair, hold their hands, and listen to endless stories about their pets; but once they hit middle school, they need you in a whole different way.
i told God all of this while i was trying to sleep that night. and he started bringing to my mind all the reasons why i loved my staffers when i was that age(another post about all of that is coming later too). i got out of bed and wrote down a whole list. i looked at it, and i still felt like i couldn't do it...but i also had that weird peace, where you're scared to death but at the same time you totally know God has a surprise coming.
and bless it, he had a big one.
not only was it THE perfect last week, it was one of the most incredible weeks of my whole "career" at camp.
important side note: the last week is already a special one every year. not only do all the staff suddenly embrace camp all over again because it's the LAST week, but there are some very special campers called Last Week Campers. these girls come the last week every year, and most of them have been doing this for years and years. half of them have been in each other's cabins before or at least know each other from past years. and all of them just love camp so much.
a while ago, i wrote about the relationship-y side and the leadership-y side of camp, and how i'm way over on the relationship-y side(explained here if you want, but it's really long). i thought that would be a bad thing for working with older campers; how are they supposed to take me seriously if all i want to do is be their friend?
but that's the whole point. you have to be their friend if you want them to take you seriously. it is ALL about relationship for them.
basically, i was made for acteens. who knew?
me and God and my girls all together made our week the most insane amount of fun. they had awesome attitudes about everything(from cleaning up after meals to listening in Bible study to picking up other cabins' trash to wearing dumb hats to breakfast). they were best friends within an hour. they were always ready to have fun, but just as ready to be serious and listen when it was time.
we loved each other like crazy. we laughed, we cried, we learned the story of stephen in a whole new way, we lost cabin capers every day because talking was more fun than cleaning...i could tell stories for a month. please ask me about it next time you see me.
i didn't feel like a cabin leader this week. i felt like we were all sisters, and i was just the big sister that the younger ones loved and looked up to. (and i felt really old on thursday night when someone reminded me that i'm eight or nine years older than most of them! wasn't it just yesterday that i wasn't allowed to tell any acteen campers my age because i was so young?)
when everyone told me how great it was to work with older ones, they never mentioned how much harder it is to say goodbye. each one took a little piece of my heart this week, and forgot to give it back on friday...so twelve pieces of my heart are now spread around south carolina.
but they're all coming back the last week next year. =] (and that's not just me saying it, like when i say "oh yes you ARE coming back" or something. when we were hugging and crying after lunch, they were all telling each other "it's okay, same time next year right?" and after agreeing, 24 eyes turn and burn holes in me, and one of them says "and linda. you HAVE to come back. or we'll be like, depressed, literally, the whole week.")
i'm gonna do a whole post about what i learned this week later. so i'll just skip to my amazing camper story of the week. even though there were SO many...
little A, who was super shy the first day, thought it was going to be a totally boring week, and told me that night not to hug her because "i don't mean to be rude, but it's just, it's like you're my mom, and that creeps me out." then she kept opening up more and more as the week went on, until thursday at bedtime she pulled me aside and said, "well, i kinda have a problem. see, i don't wanna leave? and like...this has been the most fun night of my life...and i love everybody here so much...and you know how you cried earlier? well i might do that tomorrow. is that okay?" then she added "can you be my mom? i mean not my real mom, but you're like my mom and i really love you."
B, who's been "my" camper for so many years, knew everything about camp and took all the first time campers under her wing. and she put on her camper survey that her favorite part of camp was meals, not just because the food is delicious, but mostly because of our fun conversations.(and i agree with her)
and C, who made it so hard to eat because she had us laughing too hard every day, who taught us that a worse singer than justin bieber DOES exist, and who knocked morgan and bean off the throne of "best dumb as a stick performers ever."
and don't even get me started on all of cabin 1. our cabin set was so awesome! all of our girls just floated together. they all made friends with each other and i was just as sad to see kathleen's girls leave as i was for my own.
then my adventure rec group was amazing, as 99% of acteen groups are. even though they had all done it before, so they knew all the "answers" for debriefing. but they just had so much fun together. until this week i'd never had a whole group change their minds and beg to finish the ropes course instead of climbing the rock wall. they loved each other. they wanted to do everything and never complained, even when it rained two days in a row and we had to play games in the unit 4 building so many hours(and i've never had that much fun playing them! i could have spent all 4 days that way and been fine).
i love my job so much. and as usual, after the best week of it, it's done for another year.
but that's another story for another post. which will be coming in the next hour or so. =]
Sunday, August 5, 2012
lasts.
one last sunday night together.
one last monday morning prayer time.
one last group of campers.
one last talent show.
one last set of goodybes.
and the hardest ever goodbye that we only have to say once.
five more days. 121 more hours.
the end.
one last monday morning prayer time.
one last group of campers.
one last talent show.
one last set of goodybes.
and the hardest ever goodbye that we only have to say once.
five more days. 121 more hours.
the end.
beautiful things.
for God is my witness, how i yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. ~~philippians 1:8
dear 2012 staff.
i love you. and i say "you" instead of yall because because i love every single one of YOU and i want to make sure everyone knows this as they read it.
yes, i love the staff every year, but this is the most special one i've ever been a part of.
we're a family. we're the most beautiful picture of the idea of sisters in Christ that i've known in a very long time.
last year the staff was a clique. five or six separate cliques actually. while i had my own little group of friends who i loved, i didn't know any of the other staff. none of us knew how to BE if we weren't in our groups. there wasn't much encouragement going on. we never seemed to be serving together. sure we were all at camp together and were there to do the same job, but we just weren't on the same page. long story short it was a VERY difficult summer.
but this year we're a community. we love each other. and i don't just mean that we think we're all super cool people and really like being together(though that's true too!). i mean we LOVE each other. we pour into each other, we build each other up, we keep each other on track, we jump to help each other when anyone is struggling. we truly, genuinely love each other. and because there's all this love being spread around all the time, we help each other to better serve God and our campers. while everyone has a few people who they're closer to than others, we're still SO beautifully unified. speaking for myself, there's no one on staff who i wouldn't want to spend time with(you've seen me monday mornings at breakfast trying to decide who to sit with, right?).
at camp mccall, me and carrie's adventure rec group on our first day had to make a team "covenant pledge" to each other. i wrote about it here if you want all the details. basically we were defining the attitudes we wanted to have and how we were going to help each other as a team, and keep each other accountable to this pledge. our pledge was to be JUHST. yes it's an acronym and no it isn't spelled wrong. we had wanted to tell yall about it during orientation week, but without us even making a speech about it, i've seen the staff living it out all summer.
J: JESUS-LUV!(in order to really understand that, you have to hear it said. ask me or carrie to try to do it; it won't be the same as the guy who said it but maybe you'll still laugh. =] )
i see this every day. we love each other like Jesus does: all the time and no matter what. whether we're best friends with someone or have sat with them at just one meal all summer, we're here for each other.
and it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.~philippians 1:9-11
U: Unity.
we are one big family. yes there are some small groups of friends. but it's different than how it's been. i feel like within the 31 of us, each person loves all 30 other people, and then we each have a few people who we happened to get closer to. unlike the cliques of the past, i haven't noticed drama between or within the groups. it's like God blessed all of us with smaller support systems within the big system. i've seen so many God-glorifying friendships formed this year.
we are all here for the same purpose, and we all want to push each other towards that same goal.
just as our bodies have many parts, and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ's body. we are all part of his one body, and each of us has different work to do. and since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others.~romans 12:4-5
H: Humility.
i see so much encouragement going around the staff. no one is ever pointing out what they themselves are doing great at; we're too busy praising each other. on fridays after the girls leave and cindy has us tell stories, i love hearing yall say what God did that week. everyone is always praising God for what's happening, instead of acting like we were the ones doing all this great stuff.
besides our attitudes, i've seen a lot of this silent H in the way we work together. whether it's letting someone else have a break because we see that they need it more than we do, or helping out a cabin leader who doesn't have a staffer that week when we aren't even in their unit, we do such a good job of serving each other.
this is my commandment, that you love one another as i have loved you. greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.~john 15:12-13
do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others~philippians 2:3-4
S: Support.
again, we all have our friends who we go to, but anyone can go to anyone. we've got each other's backs. everywhere i go i see people passing each other and asking how they're doing. and we actually want to know HOW everyone's doing. we want to know if someone's tired, or needs prayer, or has a great camper story. we laugh together, we cry together. if i'm having a bad day, i can instantly be uplifted by hearing about someone else having a good day. there's no one i don't feel right going to for something, and i would do anything for anyone on staff who needed it. we all help each other whenever we can, whether it's in our job description or not.
i remember during staff week, when erin P got up and asked us to pray for her sister. she said "i wanted to share this with yall because i know we're all here for each other." that was one of the first moments i knew that it was going to be a great summer. we were supporting each other then, and we've only gotten better at it.
God put us together, and i think we've made him proud. =]
as each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.~ephesians 4:16b
T: Trust.
this is the hardest one for me. i consider it a small miracle that i've been so open with so many of you this year, and there are very few who, if i had more time around, i wouldn't share a lot more with.(there aren't enough chances for me to see and talk to everybody) i don't really know what to say about everyone else on this because it's pretty personal so how am i supposed to know how much everyone trusts the rest of the staff, so i'll just say that for me, i've been able to put a lot of trust in you guys and i feel like we've made ourselves pretty safe.
i don't think it's necessary to trust every single person on staff with every little part of you. but as far as camp goes, we should be able to trust each other to a point as far as we relate to camp.
for instance, if someone asked "how's your week going?" could you tell them honestly? if you're having a hard day, if you're struggling to love your girls, if you haven't had a good attitude about camp? or on the positive side, if you'd just had a really good talk with a camper, if God had shown you something really cool that day? not that it's a terrible thing to just answer "oh just great!" when it is, or "okay" when it's not so good. but i've found that it can be so encouraging, both to you and the other person, to share life together for thirty seconds or two minutes or however long you have.
example. the other day me and perri were walking to canoes and i asked how her week was going. she told me about what she'd read during her Jesus time that day, and both of us got to be uplifted because i got to learn something really cool, and she got to be reassured that it was indeed a really cool thing.(totally putting her on the spot here, but you should ask her about John 1:1)
or for a negative one. near the beginning of the summer, i was having a hard day, and chana asked what was wrong. i told her, and she just hugged me and told me everyone loved me and wanted me to perk up and be happy linda again. and my day got better.
so, to tie a bow around this little story, you don't have to trust the whole staff with all your dirty laundry, or any of it really. but for camp's sake, it can make such a difference to trust each other with the parts of our hearts that relate to camp. when we're open in both our joys and our sorrows alike, we get to build each other up and we're able to serve so much better than if we kept everything to ourselves.
carry each other's burdens, and in this you will fulfill the law of Christ.~galatians 6:2
so. back to the verse at the beginning.
i love you all, and i hope you knew that way before reading it here. sharing this summer has blessed my life ridiculously and every one of you has played some part in that.
dear 2012 staff.
i love you. and i say "you" instead of yall because because i love every single one of YOU and i want to make sure everyone knows this as they read it.
yes, i love the staff every year, but this is the most special one i've ever been a part of.
we're a family. we're the most beautiful picture of the idea of sisters in Christ that i've known in a very long time.
last year the staff was a clique. five or six separate cliques actually. while i had my own little group of friends who i loved, i didn't know any of the other staff. none of us knew how to BE if we weren't in our groups. there wasn't much encouragement going on. we never seemed to be serving together. sure we were all at camp together and were there to do the same job, but we just weren't on the same page. long story short it was a VERY difficult summer.
but this year we're a community. we love each other. and i don't just mean that we think we're all super cool people and really like being together(though that's true too!). i mean we LOVE each other. we pour into each other, we build each other up, we keep each other on track, we jump to help each other when anyone is struggling. we truly, genuinely love each other. and because there's all this love being spread around all the time, we help each other to better serve God and our campers. while everyone has a few people who they're closer to than others, we're still SO beautifully unified. speaking for myself, there's no one on staff who i wouldn't want to spend time with(you've seen me monday mornings at breakfast trying to decide who to sit with, right?).
at camp mccall, me and carrie's adventure rec group on our first day had to make a team "covenant pledge" to each other. i wrote about it here if you want all the details. basically we were defining the attitudes we wanted to have and how we were going to help each other as a team, and keep each other accountable to this pledge. our pledge was to be JUHST. yes it's an acronym and no it isn't spelled wrong. we had wanted to tell yall about it during orientation week, but without us even making a speech about it, i've seen the staff living it out all summer.
J: JESUS-LUV!(in order to really understand that, you have to hear it said. ask me or carrie to try to do it; it won't be the same as the guy who said it but maybe you'll still laugh. =] )
i see this every day. we love each other like Jesus does: all the time and no matter what. whether we're best friends with someone or have sat with them at just one meal all summer, we're here for each other.
and it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.~philippians 1:9-11
U: Unity.
we are one big family. yes there are some small groups of friends. but it's different than how it's been. i feel like within the 31 of us, each person loves all 30 other people, and then we each have a few people who we happened to get closer to. unlike the cliques of the past, i haven't noticed drama between or within the groups. it's like God blessed all of us with smaller support systems within the big system. i've seen so many God-glorifying friendships formed this year.
we are all here for the same purpose, and we all want to push each other towards that same goal.
just as our bodies have many parts, and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ's body. we are all part of his one body, and each of us has different work to do. and since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others.~romans 12:4-5
H: Humility.
i see so much encouragement going around the staff. no one is ever pointing out what they themselves are doing great at; we're too busy praising each other. on fridays after the girls leave and cindy has us tell stories, i love hearing yall say what God did that week. everyone is always praising God for what's happening, instead of acting like we were the ones doing all this great stuff.
besides our attitudes, i've seen a lot of this silent H in the way we work together. whether it's letting someone else have a break because we see that they need it more than we do, or helping out a cabin leader who doesn't have a staffer that week when we aren't even in their unit, we do such a good job of serving each other.
this is my commandment, that you love one another as i have loved you. greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.~john 15:12-13
do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others~philippians 2:3-4
S: Support.
again, we all have our friends who we go to, but anyone can go to anyone. we've got each other's backs. everywhere i go i see people passing each other and asking how they're doing. and we actually want to know HOW everyone's doing. we want to know if someone's tired, or needs prayer, or has a great camper story. we laugh together, we cry together. if i'm having a bad day, i can instantly be uplifted by hearing about someone else having a good day. there's no one i don't feel right going to for something, and i would do anything for anyone on staff who needed it. we all help each other whenever we can, whether it's in our job description or not.
i remember during staff week, when erin P got up and asked us to pray for her sister. she said "i wanted to share this with yall because i know we're all here for each other." that was one of the first moments i knew that it was going to be a great summer. we were supporting each other then, and we've only gotten better at it.
God put us together, and i think we've made him proud. =]
as each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.~ephesians 4:16b
T: Trust.
this is the hardest one for me. i consider it a small miracle that i've been so open with so many of you this year, and there are very few who, if i had more time around, i wouldn't share a lot more with.(there aren't enough chances for me to see and talk to everybody) i don't really know what to say about everyone else on this because it's pretty personal so how am i supposed to know how much everyone trusts the rest of the staff, so i'll just say that for me, i've been able to put a lot of trust in you guys and i feel like we've made ourselves pretty safe.
i don't think it's necessary to trust every single person on staff with every little part of you. but as far as camp goes, we should be able to trust each other to a point as far as we relate to camp.
for instance, if someone asked "how's your week going?" could you tell them honestly? if you're having a hard day, if you're struggling to love your girls, if you haven't had a good attitude about camp? or on the positive side, if you'd just had a really good talk with a camper, if God had shown you something really cool that day? not that it's a terrible thing to just answer "oh just great!" when it is, or "okay" when it's not so good. but i've found that it can be so encouraging, both to you and the other person, to share life together for thirty seconds or two minutes or however long you have.
example. the other day me and perri were walking to canoes and i asked how her week was going. she told me about what she'd read during her Jesus time that day, and both of us got to be uplifted because i got to learn something really cool, and she got to be reassured that it was indeed a really cool thing.(totally putting her on the spot here, but you should ask her about John 1:1)
or for a negative one. near the beginning of the summer, i was having a hard day, and chana asked what was wrong. i told her, and she just hugged me and told me everyone loved me and wanted me to perk up and be happy linda again. and my day got better.
so, to tie a bow around this little story, you don't have to trust the whole staff with all your dirty laundry, or any of it really. but for camp's sake, it can make such a difference to trust each other with the parts of our hearts that relate to camp. when we're open in both our joys and our sorrows alike, we get to build each other up and we're able to serve so much better than if we kept everything to ourselves.
carry each other's burdens, and in this you will fulfill the law of Christ.~galatians 6:2
so. back to the verse at the beginning.
i love you all, and i hope you knew that way before reading it here. sharing this summer has blessed my life ridiculously and every one of you has played some part in that.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
week 7.1: 6th graders and boys and goodbyes, oh my.
this was the BEST coed camp in all five of my summers. no staff drama, no boy crazy campers, no near deaths in adventure rec, no midnight pranks. these guys made me wish we had coed camp all summer.
my cabin was great! i had eight 6th graders, two 5th graders and one 8th grader, which was different but they were all good. it's weird that middle schoolers used to scare me to death, but now they all think i'm cool. i've learned how to shut attitudes down, and they're too old to get homesick(or if they do, they're old enough that i can tell them to suck it up[not in those exact words, but in a loving way]), which are the two things that make up my definition of "bad campers." so with those knocked out, i can just sit back and enjoy the fact that they get my sarcasm, they can have adult conversations, and they're actually interested in Bible study.
groups like these make me wish we had two week sessions like crestridge does. i had two who had been good all week then started acting up on thursday afternoon, and if we'd had more than 16 hours left together i could have addressed it, but it made more sense to ignore it and move on with life. another two were really shy the first few days then thursday afternoon they had just begun to come out of their shells. and three of them grew up in my old church with me, so i wished i could have spent a lot more time with them. all 11 of them would have been great to have for longer, and none of them wanted to leave on friday.
the best part of my week, and one of the best parts of my summer, was Bible study time on wednesday was one of the best that i've ever had. the first two days i had gone by the book and they had been bored out of their minds. day three is the really important one where we lay out the gospel. i really like the way we do it this year; it centers on Jesus calling the 12 disciples, how they chose to follow him, and what it means for us to follow him. some years it's focused more on the initial accepting Jesus part, but i love how this one emphasizes how being a Christian is a life long thing, not just saying one prayer("one...DONE!"). so anyways, this week i read the Bible story as it was planned in the book, and the girls had so many great questions about so many big things, that we didn't bother doing anything else. we spent the whole rest of the time, and 15 minutes into our rest time, just talking.
-how did the people who wrote the NIV and the people who wrote all the other versions of the Bible make sure they were writing the same things?
-did the guys on the other two crosses with Jesus go to heaven?
-is some sin easier to forgive than others?
-if you've done a LOT of bad things, is it harder to become a Christian?
-if you're a Christian and you keep doing bad things, when does God say "enough is enough" and just give up on you?
needless to say i got to talk a LOT about grace. that last question especially. and so many of them had never had that explained to them. most of them thought what i thought for most of my life: you ask Jesus to be your savior, then YOU try YOUR best to live like him until you die and go to heaven. but no. you figure out that you can never be good enough on your own, trust Jesus to be good enough FOR you(because he is) so that God looks at you and sees Jesus instead of your sin, then each day trust him to be good enough THROUGH you so that everyone sees Jesus in your life and wants him in theirs too.
at one point one girl said "DANG miss linda, how do you do that?" and i asked what, and she says "you can just pull a Bible verse out of nowhere for anything!" i got to go on a rant about how it's the coolest book in the world and all the answers to everything are in there if you just dig for it, which raised more questions about how to know what's in what book and stuff.
top funny stories:
1. one night at dinner one of the boys asked if someone would go get him an apple off the salad bar. i fixed to get up and get him one, but paused and asked him "what can i get for this?" he thinks for a second, says "hold on." gets out a pen and paper and draws me this monkey with a speech balloon that says "i love you" and hands it to me and says "is this good?" i said i'd get him two apples if he wanted; but he said he only wanted the one. =]
2. girl in my cabin#1: if i had a billion dollars, i'd buy this cabin. with linda and jenna and tori in it.
girl in my cabin#2: and hope!
#1: no, hope is too loud.
for next week, the biggest thing to pray for would be the fact that i'll have high schoolers in my cabin! when i asked to try working with older ones, i'd expected more 6th graders like this past week, but i never thought i'd get the oldEST ones. they need really special staffers. since i was that age when mine were so important to me, i know just how much a cabin leader can make or break a 9th grader's week...and i'm really scared about that. pray that i'll know how to be their authority AND their friend, that i either won't have attitude-y campers or if i do i'll know how to handle them, and just that God will work through me. i'll be much less nervous if i keep remembering that it's not me who's in charge.
also for all of us as this is our last week. we're all tired but don't want to leave. and for me, this is also my last week before school starts. usually that week is spent at home. i don't know how i'll handle not having a transition time. pray that i focus on camp and not get distracted thinking about being alone in the world soon, that i enjoy my last week of being loved and getting hugs more than once a week
my cabin was great! i had eight 6th graders, two 5th graders and one 8th grader, which was different but they were all good. it's weird that middle schoolers used to scare me to death, but now they all think i'm cool. i've learned how to shut attitudes down, and they're too old to get homesick(or if they do, they're old enough that i can tell them to suck it up[not in those exact words, but in a loving way]), which are the two things that make up my definition of "bad campers." so with those knocked out, i can just sit back and enjoy the fact that they get my sarcasm, they can have adult conversations, and they're actually interested in Bible study.
groups like these make me wish we had two week sessions like crestridge does. i had two who had been good all week then started acting up on thursday afternoon, and if we'd had more than 16 hours left together i could have addressed it, but it made more sense to ignore it and move on with life. another two were really shy the first few days then thursday afternoon they had just begun to come out of their shells. and three of them grew up in my old church with me, so i wished i could have spent a lot more time with them. all 11 of them would have been great to have for longer, and none of them wanted to leave on friday.
the best part of my week, and one of the best parts of my summer, was Bible study time on wednesday was one of the best that i've ever had. the first two days i had gone by the book and they had been bored out of their minds. day three is the really important one where we lay out the gospel. i really like the way we do it this year; it centers on Jesus calling the 12 disciples, how they chose to follow him, and what it means for us to follow him. some years it's focused more on the initial accepting Jesus part, but i love how this one emphasizes how being a Christian is a life long thing, not just saying one prayer("one...DONE!"). so anyways, this week i read the Bible story as it was planned in the book, and the girls had so many great questions about so many big things, that we didn't bother doing anything else. we spent the whole rest of the time, and 15 minutes into our rest time, just talking.
-how did the people who wrote the NIV and the people who wrote all the other versions of the Bible make sure they were writing the same things?
-did the guys on the other two crosses with Jesus go to heaven?
-is some sin easier to forgive than others?
-if you've done a LOT of bad things, is it harder to become a Christian?
-if you're a Christian and you keep doing bad things, when does God say "enough is enough" and just give up on you?
needless to say i got to talk a LOT about grace. that last question especially. and so many of them had never had that explained to them. most of them thought what i thought for most of my life: you ask Jesus to be your savior, then YOU try YOUR best to live like him until you die and go to heaven. but no. you figure out that you can never be good enough on your own, trust Jesus to be good enough FOR you(because he is) so that God looks at you and sees Jesus instead of your sin, then each day trust him to be good enough THROUGH you so that everyone sees Jesus in your life and wants him in theirs too.
at one point one girl said "DANG miss linda, how do you do that?" and i asked what, and she says "you can just pull a Bible verse out of nowhere for anything!" i got to go on a rant about how it's the coolest book in the world and all the answers to everything are in there if you just dig for it, which raised more questions about how to know what's in what book and stuff.
top funny stories:
1. one night at dinner one of the boys asked if someone would go get him an apple off the salad bar. i fixed to get up and get him one, but paused and asked him "what can i get for this?" he thinks for a second, says "hold on." gets out a pen and paper and draws me this monkey with a speech balloon that says "i love you" and hands it to me and says "is this good?" i said i'd get him two apples if he wanted; but he said he only wanted the one. =]
2. girl in my cabin#1: if i had a billion dollars, i'd buy this cabin. with linda and jenna and tori in it.
girl in my cabin#2: and hope!
#1: no, hope is too loud.
for next week, the biggest thing to pray for would be the fact that i'll have high schoolers in my cabin! when i asked to try working with older ones, i'd expected more 6th graders like this past week, but i never thought i'd get the oldEST ones. they need really special staffers. since i was that age when mine were so important to me, i know just how much a cabin leader can make or break a 9th grader's week...and i'm really scared about that. pray that i'll know how to be their authority AND their friend, that i either won't have attitude-y campers or if i do i'll know how to handle them, and just that God will work through me. i'll be much less nervous if i keep remembering that it's not me who's in charge.
also for all of us as this is our last week. we're all tired but don't want to leave. and for me, this is also my last week before school starts. usually that week is spent at home. i don't know how i'll handle not having a transition time. pray that i focus on camp and not get distracted thinking about being alone in the world soon, that i enjoy my last week of being loved and getting hugs more than once a week
Friday, July 27, 2012
week 6.2: two more weeks.
heard a rumor that the end is near, but i just got comfortable here.
God called me away for a while this week. i didn't like the idea at first, but it turned out to be just what i needed.
i've been putting too much on myself this summer. i needed to be reminded that camp does not NEED me. God WANTS me there, but he could do it without me. as i said in this post from week 2, i got too tired to continue, but i was still pushing it, and the harder i tried to keep going, the more defeated i felt and the less i was able to do. it was finally one of those moments where God steps in and whispers, "you've done enough. let me take over for a little while."
it was hard, but i did it. and now i'm totally recharged and ready for the next two weeks.
but the more i say that, the more it sinks in: we have two more weeks. two more weeks. that's it. two weeks. ten camp days, twelve days together, fourteen calendar days, and we are done.
i'm not okay with that. where did our time go? just yesterday i woke up in cabin 4, got dressed and went out to the unit 1 flagpole with all the staff complaining about the ghost in cabin 3's shower, right? there can't be only two more weeks.
i know i'm coming back next year; God assured me of that by week 2. that's not what makes me sad.
this staff will never be together again. yes, plenty of us will come back next year, lots of us will keep in touch, we'll meet up at each other's schools sometimes, but we'll never all be working together again.
i'm not ready to let go of this yet.
God called me away for a while this week. i didn't like the idea at first, but it turned out to be just what i needed.
i've been putting too much on myself this summer. i needed to be reminded that camp does not NEED me. God WANTS me there, but he could do it without me. as i said in this post from week 2, i got too tired to continue, but i was still pushing it, and the harder i tried to keep going, the more defeated i felt and the less i was able to do. it was finally one of those moments where God steps in and whispers, "you've done enough. let me take over for a little while."
it was hard, but i did it. and now i'm totally recharged and ready for the next two weeks.
but the more i say that, the more it sinks in: we have two more weeks. two more weeks. that's it. two weeks. ten camp days, twelve days together, fourteen calendar days, and we are done.
i'm not okay with that. where did our time go? just yesterday i woke up in cabin 4, got dressed and went out to the unit 1 flagpole with all the staff complaining about the ghost in cabin 3's shower, right? there can't be only two more weeks.
i know i'm coming back next year; God assured me of that by week 2. that's not what makes me sad.
this staff will never be together again. yes, plenty of us will come back next year, lots of us will keep in touch, we'll meet up at each other's schools sometimes, but we'll never all be working together again.
i'm not ready to let go of this yet.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
week 6: good sad and bad sad/my soul needs a nap.
well. someone prayed for me, because this was my favorite minicamp i've ever had.
when we don't have a full camp(which is usually), we have to close certain cabins and assign their staffers to float in other cabins. mine was closed this week, so i got to help out in my favorite wonderful cabin 5. and as much as i love being a cabin leader, it's always good to have a break and be second in command for a while.
our girls were perfect. i bawled this morning when they left. every one of them wants to come back for a week next year.
i was walking down the hill with our last four that had been called to leave, and one of them asked me "do you cry when every group leaves?" i said "don't tell the others, but no...i love all of them and i'm sad to see them go, but i don't actually cry very often." she said "well dang what are you carrying on for now? we aren't that special!" i looked at her and i said "yes you ARE!" she looked surprised, in a good way, and asked "really? wow..." and one of the others with her hugged me and said "well you're special too!" and i lost it again.
it's true that i don't cry for all my campers anymore(my first two summers i lost it over every group). and when i do now, there is a good kind and a bad kind.
the good kind is what i was today when two of my most special campers left. S and B are sisters and i had them in cabin 5 for mother-daughter minicamp in 2010. (then last year B came for a week, and S came for a mother-daughter overnight and then a few weeks later for a minicamp by herself)
okay pause. i'll get back to the good/bad sad thing but i have to talk about these girls a bit.
both S and B are two of the sweetest, most helpful kids you'll ever meet. they're great listeners but they do love to talk too. they're both really funny but in their own ways. they're crazy smart and seem way older than 9 and 11. they're the kind of campers who i wish could stay at camp and hang out with the staff on weekends.
anyways. these two have a great life outside of camp. last year when B left she said "i'm kind of sad to leave camp...but i can't wait to talk to my mom about it!" i know they're loved, they hear about Jesus at home, and they understand how special they are. this is an example of the good kind of sad. as much as i love them, and i'm sad to not get to see them for another year, i'm happy knowing they'll be okay until i see them again, and if for some reason they don't get to come back, i know they'll still be okay, and they'll remember how much i love them. i guess bittersweet is the right word for the "good sad."
the second kind of sad is actually sad. like the lost and hopeless kind of sad. see, there are some girls who, even if they don't outright tell you, you just know by the way they respond to you and to camp in general that they haven't gotten a lot of love. and when you send them home on friday, you don't know whether they'll be loved before they come back, if they come back at all.
this kind of sad is one of the worst feelings in the world. (for me, the day after Christmas and the first day of school combined would about sum it up) especially when you know for a fact that that child is going home to a place where they aren't shown how precious they are. when you see their parents come pick them up, and all you can think is, i've only known your child for five days and i love her to death, how can you have known her all her life and not care even a bit about her?
two weeks ago i had a "bad sad" last day, and i'm still worried about her. today, i'm thankful for my "good sad" feeling for S and B. i love those girls like crazy, but i'm glad that they were happy to be going home.
so my favorite story of the week obviously comes from them.
i was helping them and the other two girls from their church take their stuff to their van, and S and B come up on either sides of me with their arms around me. S says[note that she has the most adorable lisp] "we have a serious question for you." i said i had a serious answer. B says "can we adopt you?" i look back and forth between them at their big puppy eyes, and i said "well, i have to stay at camp for a few more weeks and then i'll be at school...so why don't i adopt yall instead?"
as S lost it and started giggling, B looks up and says "well, i don't want to make you feel bad, but we REALLY love our mom." i said "well i love my mom too! so i'll just adopt you and we'll work out visiting times."
S puts her hands on her hips and says in the most sarcastic tone a nine year old can work up, "you're a GROWNUP. you don't even see your mom every day! it just makes sense for you to be the one to get adopted."
by then we had gotten to their car and i had started crying again(B is too sensible to cry over leaving camp, but S had joined me with the waterworks), so we decided that the best deal we could work out was for them to come back to camp and me to be their mom away from home(S's idea), and if for some reason i didn't come to camp, we'd settle for being sisters in Jesus(B's idea).
so now i'm home for a few days, being an adult and taking care of school things now instead of in the two days i have between leaving camp and moving back in. besides that, i just need serious rest. so i'm getting some time with God and a mental vacation, then coming back strong for the last two weeks.
when we don't have a full camp(which is usually), we have to close certain cabins and assign their staffers to float in other cabins. mine was closed this week, so i got to help out in my favorite wonderful cabin 5. and as much as i love being a cabin leader, it's always good to have a break and be second in command for a while.
our girls were perfect. i bawled this morning when they left. every one of them wants to come back for a week next year.
i was walking down the hill with our last four that had been called to leave, and one of them asked me "do you cry when every group leaves?" i said "don't tell the others, but no...i love all of them and i'm sad to see them go, but i don't actually cry very often." she said "well dang what are you carrying on for now? we aren't that special!" i looked at her and i said "yes you ARE!" she looked surprised, in a good way, and asked "really? wow..." and one of the others with her hugged me and said "well you're special too!" and i lost it again.
it's true that i don't cry for all my campers anymore(my first two summers i lost it over every group). and when i do now, there is a good kind and a bad kind.
the good kind is what i was today when two of my most special campers left. S and B are sisters and i had them in cabin 5 for mother-daughter minicamp in 2010. (then last year B came for a week, and S came for a mother-daughter overnight and then a few weeks later for a minicamp by herself)
okay pause. i'll get back to the good/bad sad thing but i have to talk about these girls a bit.
both S and B are two of the sweetest, most helpful kids you'll ever meet. they're great listeners but they do love to talk too. they're both really funny but in their own ways. they're crazy smart and seem way older than 9 and 11. they're the kind of campers who i wish could stay at camp and hang out with the staff on weekends.
anyways. these two have a great life outside of camp. last year when B left she said "i'm kind of sad to leave camp...but i can't wait to talk to my mom about it!" i know they're loved, they hear about Jesus at home, and they understand how special they are. this is an example of the good kind of sad. as much as i love them, and i'm sad to not get to see them for another year, i'm happy knowing they'll be okay until i see them again, and if for some reason they don't get to come back, i know they'll still be okay, and they'll remember how much i love them. i guess bittersweet is the right word for the "good sad."
the second kind of sad is actually sad. like the lost and hopeless kind of sad. see, there are some girls who, even if they don't outright tell you, you just know by the way they respond to you and to camp in general that they haven't gotten a lot of love. and when you send them home on friday, you don't know whether they'll be loved before they come back, if they come back at all.
this kind of sad is one of the worst feelings in the world. (for me, the day after Christmas and the first day of school combined would about sum it up) especially when you know for a fact that that child is going home to a place where they aren't shown how precious they are. when you see their parents come pick them up, and all you can think is, i've only known your child for five days and i love her to death, how can you have known her all her life and not care even a bit about her?
two weeks ago i had a "bad sad" last day, and i'm still worried about her. today, i'm thankful for my "good sad" feeling for S and B. i love those girls like crazy, but i'm glad that they were happy to be going home.
so my favorite story of the week obviously comes from them.
i was helping them and the other two girls from their church take their stuff to their van, and S and B come up on either sides of me with their arms around me. S says[note that she has the most adorable lisp] "we have a serious question for you." i said i had a serious answer. B says "can we adopt you?" i look back and forth between them at their big puppy eyes, and i said "well, i have to stay at camp for a few more weeks and then i'll be at school...so why don't i adopt yall instead?"
as S lost it and started giggling, B looks up and says "well, i don't want to make you feel bad, but we REALLY love our mom." i said "well i love my mom too! so i'll just adopt you and we'll work out visiting times."
S puts her hands on her hips and says in the most sarcastic tone a nine year old can work up, "you're a GROWNUP. you don't even see your mom every day! it just makes sense for you to be the one to get adopted."
by then we had gotten to their car and i had started crying again(B is too sensible to cry over leaving camp, but S had joined me with the waterworks), so we decided that the best deal we could work out was for them to come back to camp and me to be their mom away from home(S's idea), and if for some reason i didn't come to camp, we'd settle for being sisters in Jesus(B's idea).
so now i'm home for a few days, being an adult and taking care of school things now instead of in the two days i have between leaving camp and moving back in. besides that, i just need serious rest. so i'm getting some time with God and a mental vacation, then coming back strong for the last two weeks.
Friday, July 20, 2012
week 5: crazy love.
well. this was officially the worst week of the summer.
my girls were wonderful.
my adventure rec group was AMAZING.
but i missed all of that because i was all alone in the infirmary and not allowed to get up or be near the campers.
instead of throwing a pity party, i'll tell you all the good stuff that i did get to be there for.
to anyone in my mccall group who's reading this, that Jesus-luv we talked about? every group of kids i was around at any time this week was showing it all over the place.
-my cabin was great! they were all my favorite age(five 4th graders and seven 5th graders), and they were best friends within about an hour. i kept getting the buddies mixed up because they had all made new friends so quick. two girls had come by themselves(most come in groups of two, some in threes), but pretty much instantly bonded with at least one other girl.
i guess it worked out for this to be the week i had to get sick; my girls loved each other too much to miss me too terribly.
-the girls in my adventure rec group were SO good. i'd never seen 3rd-6th graders enjoy debriefing so much, or bond so well as a team. they LOVED each other, in everything they did. on day 1 they learned each other's names right away. on day 2, i was told by one cabin leader that this one girl had felt left out in track groups, so for the first few minutes, i tried really hard in the first game or two to pull her in to the group. the girls caught on like *snaps fingers* that(that doesn't work when it's not in out loud conversation, does it?) and immediately started talking to her and praising her when she did something good. (then a few minutes later i was sent to the nurse so i don't know how they did the rest of the day)
i didn't get to see them on the ropes course on day 3, but on day 4 i got them all to myself.
i'm about to break into adventure rec lingo because i don't feel like thinking of normal human terms to translate into. bear with me.
we started out on the tension traverse. the girls were PERFECT spotters, not only were they totally focused, they were always encouraging each other, without me even telling them to first(usually i remind them before we start any element to be positive). Shy Girl had at first not wanted to go, but after a few people tried it(and most of them didn't make it all the way to the end), she said she wanted to try. she got up there, and made it less than halfway, but the other girls were so sweet to her the whole time; all i heard were constant calls of "we got you, you're doing good, you can do it!" and when she stepped off in the middle, one of our youngest was the first to say "you tried so hard! that was awesome!"
after everyone had gone that wanted to, Shy Girl asked if she could try again. normally we only let everyone have one chance on each thing, but we had a lot of extra time that day, and ALL the girls backed her up and said she should get to try, so i let her, and she made it all the way this time. she was so proud of herself, and when we were debriefing and got to the part where you say what was hard about the challenge, Shy Girl says "it was hard to get up and try first. but the second time was really easy because i knew everyone was there to help me!"
we moved onto the nitro crossing, and since they'd done so well on the first thing, i wanted to see how they'd do with what i call "acteen rules." normally with younger groups, i just let them try to swing across, and with acteens, i say if someone touches the ground, the whole team starts over.
so the first few girls make it across, and then it's Shy Girl's turn. she hits the ground. she looked really upset at first, but all the girls just go right back to the starting line without complaint, and one even says "it's okay, i wanted to go again anyways. now we all get another turn to swing!" and so they kept trying. others besides Shy Girl fell, and every time the ones who were real good at it happily went back and started over. but finally, over half the group had made it, and Shy Girl tried again, and fell again. the girls all went back and someone suggested that she go first, so that if she fell, it wouldn't be a big deal. all the others agreed but added positive things like how they all wanted her to make it. it took her two more tries but she finally did it, and she had the biggest smile, and all the girls got excited.
basically they just encouraged me whenever i got to be with them. watching them lift each other up and hearing what they learned from everything was so much fun and probably the best part of my week!
okay so...the bad.
i got sick. awful bad sick. it started sunday night. being as it was my birthday, i didn't wanna rain on everyone's parade and go to bed, since i can only turn 21 once, so i didn't bother telling anyone i didn't feel great. long story short, each day i felt worse and worse and kept on not telling anyone, until people started noticing that i was A)not smiling as much or moving as fast and 2)always wearing a hoodie even though it was 95 degrees out.
to make a long story short, i got worse and worse, people kept making me rest, i got some quality time with one of our missionaries when she took me to the doctor, i spent an entire day asleep in the nurse's office, then my girls left with me knowing next to nothing about any of them, and my week felt pretty much wasted.
but as you saw above, God still worked. which brings me to that boring part of each week's post where i think out loud about myself for a paragraph or two. feel free to skip over this and go straight to the prayer requests if you want. =]
all summer long, any time i've made any mistake, whether it's something tiny like forgetting to bring the essays to dinner on thursday night or being the last cabin to flags in the morning, or slightly bigger like two of my girls having a fight that i can't get them to fix or a homesick camper that won't respond to any of my usual tactics, i've freaked out and felt like everything's gonna fall apart.
i've forgotten the simple principle that made 2010 the perfect summer: camp is not about me. camp is about God; we're just his way of putting his love in it.
camp can function without me. yes, God wants me there and i want to be there, but any way that i mess up, God can very easily fix. nothing me or anyone else does wrong is going to destroy camp for anyone, as long as our hearts are in the right place. if i'm loving my girls in every little thing i do, then the other little things that i'm not great at don't matter.
so. for all of us, pray for strength and good rest. same old same old. week 6 is always a really hard week energy-wise. the last two weeks are always easier because it starts to hit us that we're leaving soon, so we get a sudden burst of let's-make-camp-extra-awesome spirit. but we should have that spirit every week, so pray that we can!
also. this week is when coed camps start. the first half of the week is a normal minicamp with just girls, but the guy staffers come on tuesday for their orientation, then the second half is coed minicamp when we'll work with the guys. things always get crazy for coed camp. the schedule changes up and the poor guys haven't been doing this all summer so they need a lot of help, so even if drama and distraction isn't a problem for us, we'll still need prayer. pretty much, just pray for everything to go smoothly, that everyone would focus on the campers as always, and for the guys to get adjusted quick.
and for me? well i'm still kind of sick. i'm on an antibiotic and getting better, but i'm still tired, so pray that i'm feeling 100% by monday so i don't have to fake being fun and energetic and in general caring about camp. aside from that, i'm never a fan of minicamps...i usually go into them with an attitude of "don't get attached, they'll only be here for 48 hours" which ensures lots of homesickness because who wouldn't want their mom when their cabin leader is only concerned with going through the motions and getting them out with as little emotion involved as possible? these girls deserve just as much of me as the ones who come for a week do. pray that i'll pour everything i can into them despite how hard it is to let go.
my girls were wonderful.
my adventure rec group was AMAZING.
but i missed all of that because i was all alone in the infirmary and not allowed to get up or be near the campers.
instead of throwing a pity party, i'll tell you all the good stuff that i did get to be there for.
to anyone in my mccall group who's reading this, that Jesus-luv we talked about? every group of kids i was around at any time this week was showing it all over the place.
-my cabin was great! they were all my favorite age(five 4th graders and seven 5th graders), and they were best friends within about an hour. i kept getting the buddies mixed up because they had all made new friends so quick. two girls had come by themselves(most come in groups of two, some in threes), but pretty much instantly bonded with at least one other girl.
i guess it worked out for this to be the week i had to get sick; my girls loved each other too much to miss me too terribly.
-the girls in my adventure rec group were SO good. i'd never seen 3rd-6th graders enjoy debriefing so much, or bond so well as a team. they LOVED each other, in everything they did. on day 1 they learned each other's names right away. on day 2, i was told by one cabin leader that this one girl had felt left out in track groups, so for the first few minutes, i tried really hard in the first game or two to pull her in to the group. the girls caught on like *snaps fingers* that(that doesn't work when it's not in out loud conversation, does it?) and immediately started talking to her and praising her when she did something good. (then a few minutes later i was sent to the nurse so i don't know how they did the rest of the day)
i didn't get to see them on the ropes course on day 3, but on day 4 i got them all to myself.
i'm about to break into adventure rec lingo because i don't feel like thinking of normal human terms to translate into. bear with me.
we started out on the tension traverse. the girls were PERFECT spotters, not only were they totally focused, they were always encouraging each other, without me even telling them to first(usually i remind them before we start any element to be positive). Shy Girl had at first not wanted to go, but after a few people tried it(and most of them didn't make it all the way to the end), she said she wanted to try. she got up there, and made it less than halfway, but the other girls were so sweet to her the whole time; all i heard were constant calls of "we got you, you're doing good, you can do it!" and when she stepped off in the middle, one of our youngest was the first to say "you tried so hard! that was awesome!"
after everyone had gone that wanted to, Shy Girl asked if she could try again. normally we only let everyone have one chance on each thing, but we had a lot of extra time that day, and ALL the girls backed her up and said she should get to try, so i let her, and she made it all the way this time. she was so proud of herself, and when we were debriefing and got to the part where you say what was hard about the challenge, Shy Girl says "it was hard to get up and try first. but the second time was really easy because i knew everyone was there to help me!"
we moved onto the nitro crossing, and since they'd done so well on the first thing, i wanted to see how they'd do with what i call "acteen rules." normally with younger groups, i just let them try to swing across, and with acteens, i say if someone touches the ground, the whole team starts over.
so the first few girls make it across, and then it's Shy Girl's turn. she hits the ground. she looked really upset at first, but all the girls just go right back to the starting line without complaint, and one even says "it's okay, i wanted to go again anyways. now we all get another turn to swing!" and so they kept trying. others besides Shy Girl fell, and every time the ones who were real good at it happily went back and started over. but finally, over half the group had made it, and Shy Girl tried again, and fell again. the girls all went back and someone suggested that she go first, so that if she fell, it wouldn't be a big deal. all the others agreed but added positive things like how they all wanted her to make it. it took her two more tries but she finally did it, and she had the biggest smile, and all the girls got excited.
basically they just encouraged me whenever i got to be with them. watching them lift each other up and hearing what they learned from everything was so much fun and probably the best part of my week!
okay so...the bad.
i got sick. awful bad sick. it started sunday night. being as it was my birthday, i didn't wanna rain on everyone's parade and go to bed, since i can only turn 21 once, so i didn't bother telling anyone i didn't feel great. long story short, each day i felt worse and worse and kept on not telling anyone, until people started noticing that i was A)not smiling as much or moving as fast and 2)always wearing a hoodie even though it was 95 degrees out.
to make a long story short, i got worse and worse, people kept making me rest, i got some quality time with one of our missionaries when she took me to the doctor, i spent an entire day asleep in the nurse's office, then my girls left with me knowing next to nothing about any of them, and my week felt pretty much wasted.
but as you saw above, God still worked. which brings me to that boring part of each week's post where i think out loud about myself for a paragraph or two. feel free to skip over this and go straight to the prayer requests if you want. =]
all summer long, any time i've made any mistake, whether it's something tiny like forgetting to bring the essays to dinner on thursday night or being the last cabin to flags in the morning, or slightly bigger like two of my girls having a fight that i can't get them to fix or a homesick camper that won't respond to any of my usual tactics, i've freaked out and felt like everything's gonna fall apart.
i've forgotten the simple principle that made 2010 the perfect summer: camp is not about me. camp is about God; we're just his way of putting his love in it.
camp can function without me. yes, God wants me there and i want to be there, but any way that i mess up, God can very easily fix. nothing me or anyone else does wrong is going to destroy camp for anyone, as long as our hearts are in the right place. if i'm loving my girls in every little thing i do, then the other little things that i'm not great at don't matter.
so. for all of us, pray for strength and good rest. same old same old. week 6 is always a really hard week energy-wise. the last two weeks are always easier because it starts to hit us that we're leaving soon, so we get a sudden burst of let's-make-camp-extra-awesome spirit. but we should have that spirit every week, so pray that we can!
also. this week is when coed camps start. the first half of the week is a normal minicamp with just girls, but the guy staffers come on tuesday for their orientation, then the second half is coed minicamp when we'll work with the guys. things always get crazy for coed camp. the schedule changes up and the poor guys haven't been doing this all summer so they need a lot of help, so even if drama and distraction isn't a problem for us, we'll still need prayer. pretty much, just pray for everything to go smoothly, that everyone would focus on the campers as always, and for the guys to get adjusted quick.
and for me? well i'm still kind of sick. i'm on an antibiotic and getting better, but i'm still tired, so pray that i'm feeling 100% by monday so i don't have to fake being fun and energetic and in general caring about camp. aside from that, i'm never a fan of minicamps...i usually go into them with an attitude of "don't get attached, they'll only be here for 48 hours" which ensures lots of homesickness because who wouldn't want their mom when their cabin leader is only concerned with going through the motions and getting them out with as little emotion involved as possible? these girls deserve just as much of me as the ones who come for a week do. pray that i'll pour everything i can into them despite how hard it is to let go.
Friday, July 13, 2012
week 4: over the hill.
this week wore me OUT. it's rare that i want to leave camp so badly, but i actually became one of those cabin leaders who crosses off each bit on the schedule as we do it, and draws big smileys and hearts around friday.
it was such an emotional roller coaster because half my girls loved each other and cried when they had to leave the new friends they made, and the other half were evil bullies to each other and cried because they hated camp.
i had an amazing adventure rec group and a horrible week of drama with the staff.
i had seven homesickers in one night, but had an incredible junior staffer helping me.
i had one camper who was a record-setting level of obnoxious, and another who made my list of best decision night stories.
so if you asked if i had a good week, i'd have no idea what to answer.
all i know is that thursday night was amazing.
one of my girls who's now going into sixth grade was in my cabin four years ago for mother-daughter minicamp. she was teeny tiny but now she's not only taller than me, i didn't even realize who she was until her mom, who i recognized right away, came in saying "i saw that her cabin leader's name was linda and i just had to come see if it was the same one!"
among this crazy cabin, this girl(who i'll call K) was my little ray of sunshine. it was hard to get in much time with her because i was usually either trying to reason with my HS girls or listen to the girl with the constant questions or comfort the one who for very stupid/unfair/just plain sad reasons was legally not allowed to see her dad.
if you've been reading my other posts, you've probably noticed some trends in my angel campers. they all are low maintenance, wise beyond their years, actually enjoy Bible study, and make some significant "decision" at the end of the week. and they understand that i love them even if they're there on a week where i have a ton of high maintenance campers to deal with. K was no exception.
thursday afternoon i finally got to sit with her at canteen for a while and talk to her. she asked me a lot about how i'm still working at camp after all these years, what i get to do and why i like it so much. she told me she wants to work here someday too.
then that night during decision time, she wrote on her card that she decided "to go into youth ministry." i took her aside to talk about it, and she said "well, i really don't know what i mean by it...i don't want to be a youth minister really...but i LOVE kids and i really love getting to work with them at church, and i know God wants me to do something where i get to teach kids about him."
at CIU every major has a big pet peeve or two. for us youth ministry majors, we HATE when people assume that we all want to be "youth ministers" someday. so i got to share with K how you can share Jesus with kids in SO many other ways than just working in a church. i told her how i still have no idea what exactly i want to do either; i'm confused on the little things but have no doubt about the big thing. she said "i think that's what i am too." i prayed with her, and when we were done she had the biggest smile on her face for the next hour. seeing girls get excited about God and his work is what my job is about. i'm not lazy or complacent for "doing the same old thing" every summer.
when it was time for lights out and devotions, i read one of my favorite pieces from His Princess. it's called "my princess, you are my gifted one" and while i thought it was perfect for K, i needed to hear it again for myself. it talks about how God gives all of us different gifts and passions and how he gave them to us to use for him. this is my favorite part of it.
you'll find it in that place in life that brings you the greatest joy, that place where your heart longs to be, that work your hands love to do.
i found my gift at camp. =]
summer is halfway over. we have five sessions left(three week camps and two minicamps). i'm so torn over how to feel about it. i'm kind of ready to be done with camp, but only because i'm so tired and i just had a hard week. i am NOT ready to leave my friends, and i'm definitely not ready to go back to school. i can't decide if it feels like the first half has gone by fast or slow. but whatever it is, i know we all need to start galatians 6:9ing. i don't know about everybody else, but i AM growing "weary in doing good" and really need to remember that harvest we're supposed to reap because i am totally ready to give up.
so for this next week, pray for us to keep our heads up, not get tired or discouraged, and lift each other up as we're all dragging.
it was such an emotional roller coaster because half my girls loved each other and cried when they had to leave the new friends they made, and the other half were evil bullies to each other and cried because they hated camp.
i had an amazing adventure rec group and a horrible week of drama with the staff.
i had seven homesickers in one night, but had an incredible junior staffer helping me.
i had one camper who was a record-setting level of obnoxious, and another who made my list of best decision night stories.
so if you asked if i had a good week, i'd have no idea what to answer.
all i know is that thursday night was amazing.
one of my girls who's now going into sixth grade was in my cabin four years ago for mother-daughter minicamp. she was teeny tiny but now she's not only taller than me, i didn't even realize who she was until her mom, who i recognized right away, came in saying "i saw that her cabin leader's name was linda and i just had to come see if it was the same one!"
among this crazy cabin, this girl(who i'll call K) was my little ray of sunshine. it was hard to get in much time with her because i was usually either trying to reason with my HS girls or listen to the girl with the constant questions or comfort the one who for very stupid/unfair/just plain sad reasons was legally not allowed to see her dad.
if you've been reading my other posts, you've probably noticed some trends in my angel campers. they all are low maintenance, wise beyond their years, actually enjoy Bible study, and make some significant "decision" at the end of the week. and they understand that i love them even if they're there on a week where i have a ton of high maintenance campers to deal with. K was no exception.
thursday afternoon i finally got to sit with her at canteen for a while and talk to her. she asked me a lot about how i'm still working at camp after all these years, what i get to do and why i like it so much. she told me she wants to work here someday too.
then that night during decision time, she wrote on her card that she decided "to go into youth ministry." i took her aside to talk about it, and she said "well, i really don't know what i mean by it...i don't want to be a youth minister really...but i LOVE kids and i really love getting to work with them at church, and i know God wants me to do something where i get to teach kids about him."
at CIU every major has a big pet peeve or two. for us youth ministry majors, we HATE when people assume that we all want to be "youth ministers" someday. so i got to share with K how you can share Jesus with kids in SO many other ways than just working in a church. i told her how i still have no idea what exactly i want to do either; i'm confused on the little things but have no doubt about the big thing. she said "i think that's what i am too." i prayed with her, and when we were done she had the biggest smile on her face for the next hour. seeing girls get excited about God and his work is what my job is about. i'm not lazy or complacent for "doing the same old thing" every summer.
when it was time for lights out and devotions, i read one of my favorite pieces from His Princess. it's called "my princess, you are my gifted one" and while i thought it was perfect for K, i needed to hear it again for myself. it talks about how God gives all of us different gifts and passions and how he gave them to us to use for him. this is my favorite part of it.
you'll find it in that place in life that brings you the greatest joy, that place where your heart longs to be, that work your hands love to do.
i found my gift at camp. =]
summer is halfway over. we have five sessions left(three week camps and two minicamps). i'm so torn over how to feel about it. i'm kind of ready to be done with camp, but only because i'm so tired and i just had a hard week. i am NOT ready to leave my friends, and i'm definitely not ready to go back to school. i can't decide if it feels like the first half has gone by fast or slow. but whatever it is, i know we all need to start galatians 6:9ing. i don't know about everybody else, but i AM growing "weary in doing good" and really need to remember that harvest we're supposed to reap because i am totally ready to give up.
so for this next week, pray for us to keep our heads up, not get tired or discouraged, and lift each other up as we're all dragging.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
true rest.
every other summer, i've dreaded this break. even back in the day when we only had 3 days off, it was awful: i'd leave my favorite place, and go home, where i would spend the time either alone and bored in my house, surrounded by people yelling in my house, or being pulled in 12 directions as all my friends begged to see me when all i wanted to do was sleep and write and maybe talk about camp(but everyone at home gets bored or irritated pretty quick when i do that).
but this year i got to rest. this week has been perfect. every day of it.
i rest by surrounding myself with people who love me and encourage me, writing, laughing, and being distracted from whatever has gotten me un-rested.
i've been with people i love all week long.
people recharge me. i cannot rest by myself. when i go on breaks during the week, i go crazy sitting in my cabin alone. i leave more stressed out than i was before.
in last saturday's post, i said my heart needed rest. rest from drama. rest from people needing me. i didn't need sleep; i needed to laugh, be around people besides nine year old girls, and just not think for a week. i don't need sleep as long as i'm free from all responsibility, so the following things definitely count as rest:
-staying up until 4:30 playing phase 10
-deep conversations at 7 am when we're awake because we're still on camp time
-a day at carowinds
-playing with fire
-wrestling on cara's trampoline
-videoing everything possible
-eating spaghetti and playing bananagrams at midnight
among other things.
we didn't think about camp. we didn't follow any schedule. we just ate all the time, laughed every five minutes, almost died, blew things up, tried to freeze our hands off, and tested our true friendship.
God gave me everything i needed, and now i'm totally ready to go back.
five more weeks. it feels like we've already been here for ten, but now i feel like i could do ten more if i needed to. =]
pray for us this week as we have an almost full camp again!!! and pray for me that i'll remember to keep resting during the week so i won't get so desperate for a break again. as much as i've loved spending time in the real world with camp people, i never like wanting to be away from camp. it's home. so pray that i'll get on the ball with my Jesus time, and ask people for help when i need it.
but this year i got to rest. this week has been perfect. every day of it.
i rest by surrounding myself with people who love me and encourage me, writing, laughing, and being distracted from whatever has gotten me un-rested.
i've been with people i love all week long.
people recharge me. i cannot rest by myself. when i go on breaks during the week, i go crazy sitting in my cabin alone. i leave more stressed out than i was before.
in last saturday's post, i said my heart needed rest. rest from drama. rest from people needing me. i didn't need sleep; i needed to laugh, be around people besides nine year old girls, and just not think for a week. i don't need sleep as long as i'm free from all responsibility, so the following things definitely count as rest:
-staying up until 4:30 playing phase 10
-deep conversations at 7 am when we're awake because we're still on camp time
-a day at carowinds
-playing with fire
-wrestling on cara's trampoline
-videoing everything possible
-eating spaghetti and playing bananagrams at midnight
among other things.
we didn't think about camp. we didn't follow any schedule. we just ate all the time, laughed every five minutes, almost died, blew things up, tried to freeze our hands off, and tested our true friendship.
God gave me everything i needed, and now i'm totally ready to go back.
five more weeks. it feels like we've already been here for ten, but now i feel like i could do ten more if i needed to. =]
pray for us this week as we have an almost full camp again!!! and pray for me that i'll remember to keep resting during the week so i won't get so desperate for a break again. as much as i've loved spending time in the real world with camp people, i never like wanting to be away from camp. it's home. so pray that i'll get on the ball with my Jesus time, and ask people for help when i need it.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
week 3: a strug-a-strugglin.
camp la vida staff is a-strugglin over,
camp la vida staff struggles in their souls.
this was a long, hard week. it was 108 degrees, there were staff issues, camper issues, sickness issues, and we were very, very tired.
to really get down to why this week was hard, i need to tell one of my stories that seems off topic at first but really it's a perfect metaphor for the thing i'm actually wanting to talk about(if you've read my other blog you probably hate these. sorry) so bear with me because it might take a bit for you to get the connection.
some time on wednesday, i scraped my arm on something. it was super small and didn't hurt, so i didn't think it needed a bandaid.
later that day the little scrape itched. without thinking, i scratched that little itch, then stopped pretty quick because it hurt. the little scrape got a teeny bit bigger. i still didn't think it needed a bandaid.
as the next two days went on, little girls constantly grabbed my arm and put their nasty little hands on my little scrape. i didn't think about anything except the fact that it sort of hurt.
saturday my arm started to really really hurt. not just the little scrape...i mean all under the skin halfway up to my elbow was burning like nobody's business. i looked closer at it and found there was a huge puffy circle around the little scrape. hope and holli looked at it, practically died, and we realized my arm was very very infected.
i had no idea how that happened...i retraced my steps and realized, if i had only put a bandaid on it right away, then i wouldn't have itched it in the first place, and no little kid germs would have got in it, and it would probably be better by now.
so, as i sat in cara's kitchen soaking half my arm in peroxide, i debriefed the whole situation like i do all of life.
i realized that a lot of times at camp, i'll run into something like my little-scrape-turned-big-infection.
a little thing goes wrong.
i instantly see a solution to that little thing, but i don't see a real need for it, so i don't do it.
things keep irritating that little thing, and i ignore them. it isn't too late to do what needs to be done to fix it, but i don't want to do it. i tell myself the little thing will go away on its own.
but soon i realize the little thing is not only not going away, but it's spreading and hurting the rest of my work.
that happened this week. unlike past summers though, i've caught it pretty quick. and me and God have fixed it, and i'm gonna be just fine. basically, i need to rest. i need to read my Bible. i need to run. and i need to ask for help.
anyways.
this week was hard for a lot of people because it was a double minicamp week. that means we had one group of campers come monday morning and leave wednesday morning, then we got a few hours break until another group got here wednesday afternoon and left friday after lunch. then to make an already crazy week crazier, a couple hours after those girls left, we had a mother-daughter overnight group come until saturday at lunch time.
that is a ridiculous week.
the first half of the week was mother-daughter minicamp, which is always one of our favorites! while most of the moms that come for weekends are great, ALL the ones that come for minicamp are the super fun ones who are totally excited to be here. i had an amazing group in every way. the girls loved me, i loved talking to their moms(who all on wednesday said they couldn't wait to send their girls back by themselves next year and asked if i would be working again), and i had a former staffer mom, which are my favorite kind ever. side note, did yall know that 2002 was ten years ago? that's crazy.
the second half was a little more difficult. remember how i've had 4th and 5th graders the first two weeks? well for minicamps we get a lot of younger girls, so i had eight 2nd graders and three 3rd graders. don't get me wrong, i love the little ones but i learned this week that i have no patience with them. i love them from a distance, but having a cabin full of them just takes too much out of me. it's not that i didn't love them; they were precious and made me laugh a lot, i just would rather play with them all day than deal with their questions and HS and constant need to hang all over me all day. none of them are gonna go home saying i was frustrated with them all week because i'm sure they had no idea. but that makes me sad because they think i was a good cabin leader, when really i was pretty mediocre. i did the total bare minimum for them that i needed to, and these girls deserve so much more than a cabin leader who gets them where they need to be and doesn't yell at them.
after such a hard week i was so ready for another group of moms to come, and thankfully i ended up with the best group ever! this was the first time that i knew the moms better than their girls(though the girls were wonderful too). and my favorite mom ever was there with her youngest(in another cabin, sad day), she's come eight summers in a row with all of her daughters but this is finally her last year that she can come. her oldest who was in my cabin with her in '09 is going into 8th grade now. crazy crazy.
i love that i'm finally at the point where mother-daughters are fun and relaxing, not stressful and awkward like when i was little. i feel so much older this year.
so, stories:
1. the funny one. for the second minicamp, me and tori had a little girl whose name was tori(we called her little tori). just like staffer tori("big tori" from this point on), camper's tori's name wasn't short for anything, it was just tori. just like big tori, little tori is CRAZY country. little tori was the sweetest and sassiest child you will ever meet.
little tori changed her mind more often than my sister changes what country she lives in.
"i HATE camp la vida!"
"why do you hate camp la vida?"
"you wake us up in the morning!!!!!!!"
a couple hours later...
"i don't WANT to go home."
"why not?"
"my brother is SO annoying!"
the next day...
"i can't WAIT to get out of here!"
"why?"
"you TORTURE children!"
"how do i torture you?"
"it ain't even 10 am and you're makin us get out the bed!"
2. the slightly serious but still kind of funny one.
on thursday for decision night, one of my girls wrote on her card "i want to be a savior." i thought this might mean she wanted Jesus to be her savior...but when i took her aside to talk to her and asked her to tell me about what she wrote, she said "i want to be a savior!" i asked her what she thought that meant. she says "well, i want to save people. like make them better when they're sick or have problems. see, i'm gonna be a doctor when i grow up."
now we have a week off. you can still be praying, for lots and lots of rest. for all of us. i'm not the only one who's had a hard week. we all need physical rest, but more than anything pray that we can all soak up some real deep Jesus time this week. my heart needs rest more than my body and my brain right now. i need to get refocused.
camp la vida staff struggles in their souls.
this was a long, hard week. it was 108 degrees, there were staff issues, camper issues, sickness issues, and we were very, very tired.
to really get down to why this week was hard, i need to tell one of my stories that seems off topic at first but really it's a perfect metaphor for the thing i'm actually wanting to talk about(if you've read my other blog you probably hate these. sorry) so bear with me because it might take a bit for you to get the connection.
some time on wednesday, i scraped my arm on something. it was super small and didn't hurt, so i didn't think it needed a bandaid.
later that day the little scrape itched. without thinking, i scratched that little itch, then stopped pretty quick because it hurt. the little scrape got a teeny bit bigger. i still didn't think it needed a bandaid.
as the next two days went on, little girls constantly grabbed my arm and put their nasty little hands on my little scrape. i didn't think about anything except the fact that it sort of hurt.
saturday my arm started to really really hurt. not just the little scrape...i mean all under the skin halfway up to my elbow was burning like nobody's business. i looked closer at it and found there was a huge puffy circle around the little scrape. hope and holli looked at it, practically died, and we realized my arm was very very infected.
i had no idea how that happened...i retraced my steps and realized, if i had only put a bandaid on it right away, then i wouldn't have itched it in the first place, and no little kid germs would have got in it, and it would probably be better by now.
so, as i sat in cara's kitchen soaking half my arm in peroxide, i debriefed the whole situation like i do all of life.
i realized that a lot of times at camp, i'll run into something like my little-scrape-turned-big-infection.
a little thing goes wrong.
i instantly see a solution to that little thing, but i don't see a real need for it, so i don't do it.
things keep irritating that little thing, and i ignore them. it isn't too late to do what needs to be done to fix it, but i don't want to do it. i tell myself the little thing will go away on its own.
but soon i realize the little thing is not only not going away, but it's spreading and hurting the rest of my work.
that happened this week. unlike past summers though, i've caught it pretty quick. and me and God have fixed it, and i'm gonna be just fine. basically, i need to rest. i need to read my Bible. i need to run. and i need to ask for help.
anyways.
this week was hard for a lot of people because it was a double minicamp week. that means we had one group of campers come monday morning and leave wednesday morning, then we got a few hours break until another group got here wednesday afternoon and left friday after lunch. then to make an already crazy week crazier, a couple hours after those girls left, we had a mother-daughter overnight group come until saturday at lunch time.
that is a ridiculous week.
the first half of the week was mother-daughter minicamp, which is always one of our favorites! while most of the moms that come for weekends are great, ALL the ones that come for minicamp are the super fun ones who are totally excited to be here. i had an amazing group in every way. the girls loved me, i loved talking to their moms(who all on wednesday said they couldn't wait to send their girls back by themselves next year and asked if i would be working again), and i had a former staffer mom, which are my favorite kind ever. side note, did yall know that 2002 was ten years ago? that's crazy.
the second half was a little more difficult. remember how i've had 4th and 5th graders the first two weeks? well for minicamps we get a lot of younger girls, so i had eight 2nd graders and three 3rd graders. don't get me wrong, i love the little ones but i learned this week that i have no patience with them. i love them from a distance, but having a cabin full of them just takes too much out of me. it's not that i didn't love them; they were precious and made me laugh a lot, i just would rather play with them all day than deal with their questions and HS and constant need to hang all over me all day. none of them are gonna go home saying i was frustrated with them all week because i'm sure they had no idea. but that makes me sad because they think i was a good cabin leader, when really i was pretty mediocre. i did the total bare minimum for them that i needed to, and these girls deserve so much more than a cabin leader who gets them where they need to be and doesn't yell at them.
after such a hard week i was so ready for another group of moms to come, and thankfully i ended up with the best group ever! this was the first time that i knew the moms better than their girls(though the girls were wonderful too). and my favorite mom ever was there with her youngest(in another cabin, sad day), she's come eight summers in a row with all of her daughters but this is finally her last year that she can come. her oldest who was in my cabin with her in '09 is going into 8th grade now. crazy crazy.
i love that i'm finally at the point where mother-daughters are fun and relaxing, not stressful and awkward like when i was little. i feel so much older this year.
so, stories:
1. the funny one. for the second minicamp, me and tori had a little girl whose name was tori(we called her little tori). just like staffer tori("big tori" from this point on), camper's tori's name wasn't short for anything, it was just tori. just like big tori, little tori is CRAZY country. little tori was the sweetest and sassiest child you will ever meet.
little tori changed her mind more often than my sister changes what country she lives in.
"i HATE camp la vida!"
"why do you hate camp la vida?"
"you wake us up in the morning!!!!!!!"
a couple hours later...
"i don't WANT to go home."
"why not?"
"my brother is SO annoying!"
the next day...
"i can't WAIT to get out of here!"
"why?"
"you TORTURE children!"
"how do i torture you?"
"it ain't even 10 am and you're makin us get out the bed!"
2. the slightly serious but still kind of funny one.
on thursday for decision night, one of my girls wrote on her card "i want to be a savior." i thought this might mean she wanted Jesus to be her savior...but when i took her aside to talk to her and asked her to tell me about what she wrote, she said "i want to be a savior!" i asked her what she thought that meant. she says "well, i want to save people. like make them better when they're sick or have problems. see, i'm gonna be a doctor when i grow up."
now we have a week off. you can still be praying, for lots and lots of rest. for all of us. i'm not the only one who's had a hard week. we all need physical rest, but more than anything pray that we can all soak up some real deep Jesus time this week. my heart needs rest more than my body and my brain right now. i need to get refocused.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
week 2, post 2 of 2: good preparation.
this week also had our first mother-daughter camp! i was more excited for it than i've ever been for one before. usually i'm not a fan of them, but this year i was actually looking forward to having older-than-me campers.
at dinner one of my moms asked me what my major was, and when i said youth ministry, she said "oh, i'll bet camp is good preparation for that!"
what?
i was seriously thrown. i've never thought of it that way. if anything, my major is good preparation for camp, not the other way around. in my classes, i've never imagined using what i learn in any other situation.
that night i was laying in bed thinking, in one of those moods where i'm annoyed at how much i love camp and how i can't see myself anywhere else. because realistically, i HAVE to find something else to do with my life someday. so i asked God why the heck he can't give me another passion. and he brought my mind back to this story, which happened thursday night.
this is that amazing camper story of the week that i referenced in my last post.
in all but one of my "bad groups" as i call them, there's always one girl who makes the whole week worth it. this week God gave me one who taught me something by having me teach it to her.
madeleine is nine going on nineteen, and is one of those little genius campers who has a crazy wise-beyond-her-years answer for everything. despite the fact that it took an hour every day with all the girls interrupting to ask about swim time or throw their stuffed animals around, i still looked forward to Bible study because madeleine had the best things to say. thursday, we were talking about the people who taught us about God, and then the girls had to list one or two people that they can teach about God. madeleine raised her hand and asked me "have you ever been talking to someone, you know like about Jesus, and they asked you a question, and you just started answering, even though you didn't know what you were saying?" i was VERY confused...and she went on "you know, like the words are coming out of your mouth but it feels like it's not even you talking? you just know they're true, almost like God is putting the words in your head?"
yes i have...but i was seventeen the first time that happened, not nine.
i told her that that was God speaking through her, and that's how he sometimes uses us to tell people things. she started laughing(in the same way i do when i start realizing big truths) and she says "but that's just so cool! i mean i'm only nine, but God can still use me! isn't that cool?"
yes it is. that's why i love my job; a few hours later God used her to talk to me just like that.
that night during their decision service(which i usually hate because little kids don't get what it's for; all their "decisions" are either what they think their cabin leader or buddy wants them to write, or just something emotionally pushed), madeleine called me over to her. she had her decision card and pen in her hands, and she said "i just...i know God wants me to do SOMETHING. and i know it's really important. but i don't know WHAT that is...it's really confusing." as i usually feel on decision nights, i didn't know what to say to her. but she went on, "i know it sounds crazy since i'm just a kid, and i don't know how to explain it but i just KNOW God's trying to tell me something! how do i find out what it is? or is it really not God since i don't know?" and i told her that God has a plan for all of us, but sometimes he doesn't tell us all of the plan at once. sometimes he gives us little glimpses at a time, and as we trust in each little bit, he reveals more and more of it. but if we wait to see the whole plan before we trust him, we'll be waiting forever.
no one had ever told me that before. i hadn't heard it or read it or thought of it anywhere. the words just came out of my mouth like madeleine talked about in Bible study. and they were the words i'd needed to hear for five months.
she looks at me and says "okay...so you mean that right now, God is telling me to trust him? that he does have a plan and it's just not time for me to know all of it yet?" i said yes, she just needed to keep listening and waiting, and do whatever she could while she waited. it's okay to not know everything, because God knows it all anyways.
God's words again. not mine.
sweet little always-follows-the-rules asked "so what do i write on my card then?" i laughed and told her maybe her decision could be to say yes to God as soon as he tells her the next part of that plan.
ok now we're here. back in my room asking God what in the world i'm supposed to do with my life other than camp.
i laid there and kept thinking, and i thought about what i had said to madeleine about not knowing the whole plan at once. how we can't doubt that we're on the right path just because we can't see the end of it. and i knew that whatever is around the next turn, camp is the right path for now. whatever else there is, i'll be just as excited about that when God shows it to me as i am about camp.
and i've known the next step towards whatever that is for a while, i've just been too scared to admit it because it involves a lot more school after undergrad. but...i promised madeleine...so i have to trust God. just like i did when i changed my major(which i also had[still have] no idea why he told me to do, but did it anyways because i knew i had heard him right).
since it's not totally related to camp, i'll share the rest of this story on my regular life blog a little later.
but seriously. camp is my life right now. whatever else God has in mind must be pretty darn awesome. no matter how hard i try i can't imagine doing anything else. and as much as i keep saying "that's a bad thing," i really don't believe that. most people think it's a bad thing because they don't get that this isn't just a fun summer job, and i understand their point. but i've already written about that here and a little bit at the end of this.
anyways, after that tangent...
this was also a really special week for a lot of reasons.
my last year as a camper, in 2007, i came the same dates as this week(june 18-22).
that thursday, june 21st was the day that God officially called me to work at camp.
this thursday, also a june 21st, God made another official decision for me
then this saturday the 23rd was my seventh spiritual birthday.
what a week. i don't think it was any coincidence that God waited until now to clue me in on some stuff.
at dinner one of my moms asked me what my major was, and when i said youth ministry, she said "oh, i'll bet camp is good preparation for that!"
what?
i was seriously thrown. i've never thought of it that way. if anything, my major is good preparation for camp, not the other way around. in my classes, i've never imagined using what i learn in any other situation.
that night i was laying in bed thinking, in one of those moods where i'm annoyed at how much i love camp and how i can't see myself anywhere else. because realistically, i HAVE to find something else to do with my life someday. so i asked God why the heck he can't give me another passion. and he brought my mind back to this story, which happened thursday night.
this is that amazing camper story of the week that i referenced in my last post.
in all but one of my "bad groups" as i call them, there's always one girl who makes the whole week worth it. this week God gave me one who taught me something by having me teach it to her.
madeleine is nine going on nineteen, and is one of those little genius campers who has a crazy wise-beyond-her-years answer for everything. despite the fact that it took an hour every day with all the girls interrupting to ask about swim time or throw their stuffed animals around, i still looked forward to Bible study because madeleine had the best things to say. thursday, we were talking about the people who taught us about God, and then the girls had to list one or two people that they can teach about God. madeleine raised her hand and asked me "have you ever been talking to someone, you know like about Jesus, and they asked you a question, and you just started answering, even though you didn't know what you were saying?" i was VERY confused...and she went on "you know, like the words are coming out of your mouth but it feels like it's not even you talking? you just know they're true, almost like God is putting the words in your head?"
yes i have...but i was seventeen the first time that happened, not nine.
i told her that that was God speaking through her, and that's how he sometimes uses us to tell people things. she started laughing(in the same way i do when i start realizing big truths) and she says "but that's just so cool! i mean i'm only nine, but God can still use me! isn't that cool?"
yes it is. that's why i love my job; a few hours later God used her to talk to me just like that.
that night during their decision service(which i usually hate because little kids don't get what it's for; all their "decisions" are either what they think their cabin leader or buddy wants them to write, or just something emotionally pushed), madeleine called me over to her. she had her decision card and pen in her hands, and she said "i just...i know God wants me to do SOMETHING. and i know it's really important. but i don't know WHAT that is...it's really confusing." as i usually feel on decision nights, i didn't know what to say to her. but she went on, "i know it sounds crazy since i'm just a kid, and i don't know how to explain it but i just KNOW God's trying to tell me something! how do i find out what it is? or is it really not God since i don't know?" and i told her that God has a plan for all of us, but sometimes he doesn't tell us all of the plan at once. sometimes he gives us little glimpses at a time, and as we trust in each little bit, he reveals more and more of it. but if we wait to see the whole plan before we trust him, we'll be waiting forever.
no one had ever told me that before. i hadn't heard it or read it or thought of it anywhere. the words just came out of my mouth like madeleine talked about in Bible study. and they were the words i'd needed to hear for five months.
she looks at me and says "okay...so you mean that right now, God is telling me to trust him? that he does have a plan and it's just not time for me to know all of it yet?" i said yes, she just needed to keep listening and waiting, and do whatever she could while she waited. it's okay to not know everything, because God knows it all anyways.
God's words again. not mine.
sweet little always-follows-the-rules asked "so what do i write on my card then?" i laughed and told her maybe her decision could be to say yes to God as soon as he tells her the next part of that plan.
ok now we're here. back in my room asking God what in the world i'm supposed to do with my life other than camp.
i laid there and kept thinking, and i thought about what i had said to madeleine about not knowing the whole plan at once. how we can't doubt that we're on the right path just because we can't see the end of it. and i knew that whatever is around the next turn, camp is the right path for now. whatever else there is, i'll be just as excited about that when God shows it to me as i am about camp.
and i've known the next step towards whatever that is for a while, i've just been too scared to admit it because it involves a lot more school after undergrad. but...i promised madeleine...so i have to trust God. just like i did when i changed my major(which i also had[still have] no idea why he told me to do, but did it anyways because i knew i had heard him right).
since it's not totally related to camp, i'll share the rest of this story on my regular life blog a little later.
but seriously. camp is my life right now. whatever else God has in mind must be pretty darn awesome. no matter how hard i try i can't imagine doing anything else. and as much as i keep saying "that's a bad thing," i really don't believe that. most people think it's a bad thing because they don't get that this isn't just a fun summer job, and i understand their point. but i've already written about that here and a little bit at the end of this.
anyways, after that tangent...
this was also a really special week for a lot of reasons.
my last year as a camper, in 2007, i came the same dates as this week(june 18-22).
that thursday, june 21st was the day that God officially called me to work at camp.
this thursday, also a june 21st, God made another official decision for me
then this saturday the 23rd was my seventh spiritual birthday.
what a week. i don't think it was any coincidence that God waited until now to clue me in on some stuff.
week 2, post 1 of 2: until you are too tired to continue.
in the dumb videos we had to watch for CPR training during staff week, they said about three million times that you're supposed to continue doing all the life saving stuff until help arrives, or you are "too tired to continue." the instructors would tell us after every one that it isn't your fault if you get exhausted and have to stop. i asked them HOW in the world are we supposed to not hate ourselves the rest of our lives if we give up trying to save someone just because we're tired? but they said as long as we've done all we can do, we wouldn't be doing any more good to keep trying anyways. i still wasn't happy with that answer, but i've never had to actually use CPR on someone, so i'm okay for now.
the point of that story? sometimes camp is like CPR.
i was so tired this week. my girls weren't bad, they loved me and wanted to do what i told them, but it was a bad mix of crazy personalities, whiners, and a stage five clinger. that adds up to a very out of control cabin. since it was a full week, unit 3 had to be open and my CIT was taken away from me and put out there, so the only time i had help was meals and cabin capers and bedtime when my staffer wasn't at the pool or the lake or the rock wall. basically i was by myself with a bunch of girls who ALL wanted my attention at once, ALL were busy talking to each other all the time, and ALL had two billion questions per hour. i was physically drained from the girl who insisted on leaning her head on my shoulder everywhere we walked, mentally drained from the girl who every two seconds asked where our staffer was and the cousins who picked on each other all day every day, and emotionally drained from trying to be everything for my girls while not letting other things distract me.
needless to say i didn't have much to give to anyone.
by thursday, i was getting sick from not sleeping or eating much and being so stressed out all the time. i felt terrible in every possible way and i was SO frustrated with myself for being tired, because i don't get tired. not much at least, and when i do, i don't notice it because i love camp so much. but this week all i wanted was for friday to come so my girls would leave. and i hate weeks when i feel like that. when i was finally getting ready for bed that night, i told my roommate how bad i had needed a break all day(little things had come up here and there so that the only break i got was the campers' rest time, which wasn't actual rest for me because my girls would NOT hush or stay on their beds), and she asked why in the world i hadn't asked her for help. i told her it wasn't good that i was tired and i didn't want to actually SAY i was tired. and she said "but it's okay to be tired! it's not okay to try to keep going when you're that tired. you need to rest." then for some reason that CPR video popped in my head, and i thought, i'm not doing any good for my girls when i'm exhausted and frustrated with them. i always feel like i'm wasting time i could be spending with them when i take time off, but when i'm that tired i wouldn't be able to do anything anyways...so i may as well rest.
(really we're supposed to be regularly taking breaks so that we won't ever be "too tired to continue" as i'm now saying all the time...i'm trying to get better at that now)
so i was reminded this week that i can't, and am not supposed to, do everything for everyone every day.
but. even with all the crazy kids and stupid staff drama, i came out with my favorite "most amazing camper story" of my whole five years. it's so monumental that i'm making a separate post of it after i finish this one.
as far as lighthearted camper stories go, i do have a few.
1. i had a girl in my cabin who was a little slow. she gave us a lot of laughs this week but my favorite would be when erin P and holli walked up on stage to lead worship on monday night. chloe looks at holli, points to erin, and asks me "is that her daughter?"
2. we were walking past the golf cart on our way back to the cabin, and one of my girls asks me why we have a golf cart when no one here plays golf. another one of them says "golf is a sport for rich guys with too much time on their hands."
3. written in one of my camper essays: "i made new friends through Christ, because i was lonely the first day, but then Christ told me 'go ahead, make new friends but keep the old', so i did."
what can you pray for?
REST. energy. motivation. i should not be this burnt out two weeks in!! i'm frustrated as all get out with myself, and i don't like that.
the point of that story? sometimes camp is like CPR.
i was so tired this week. my girls weren't bad, they loved me and wanted to do what i told them, but it was a bad mix of crazy personalities, whiners, and a stage five clinger. that adds up to a very out of control cabin. since it was a full week, unit 3 had to be open and my CIT was taken away from me and put out there, so the only time i had help was meals and cabin capers and bedtime when my staffer wasn't at the pool or the lake or the rock wall. basically i was by myself with a bunch of girls who ALL wanted my attention at once, ALL were busy talking to each other all the time, and ALL had two billion questions per hour. i was physically drained from the girl who insisted on leaning her head on my shoulder everywhere we walked, mentally drained from the girl who every two seconds asked where our staffer was and the cousins who picked on each other all day every day, and emotionally drained from trying to be everything for my girls while not letting other things distract me.
needless to say i didn't have much to give to anyone.
by thursday, i was getting sick from not sleeping or eating much and being so stressed out all the time. i felt terrible in every possible way and i was SO frustrated with myself for being tired, because i don't get tired. not much at least, and when i do, i don't notice it because i love camp so much. but this week all i wanted was for friday to come so my girls would leave. and i hate weeks when i feel like that. when i was finally getting ready for bed that night, i told my roommate how bad i had needed a break all day(little things had come up here and there so that the only break i got was the campers' rest time, which wasn't actual rest for me because my girls would NOT hush or stay on their beds), and she asked why in the world i hadn't asked her for help. i told her it wasn't good that i was tired and i didn't want to actually SAY i was tired. and she said "but it's okay to be tired! it's not okay to try to keep going when you're that tired. you need to rest." then for some reason that CPR video popped in my head, and i thought, i'm not doing any good for my girls when i'm exhausted and frustrated with them. i always feel like i'm wasting time i could be spending with them when i take time off, but when i'm that tired i wouldn't be able to do anything anyways...so i may as well rest.
(really we're supposed to be regularly taking breaks so that we won't ever be "too tired to continue" as i'm now saying all the time...i'm trying to get better at that now)
so i was reminded this week that i can't, and am not supposed to, do everything for everyone every day.
but. even with all the crazy kids and stupid staff drama, i came out with my favorite "most amazing camper story" of my whole five years. it's so monumental that i'm making a separate post of it after i finish this one.
as far as lighthearted camper stories go, i do have a few.
1. i had a girl in my cabin who was a little slow. she gave us a lot of laughs this week but my favorite would be when erin P and holli walked up on stage to lead worship on monday night. chloe looks at holli, points to erin, and asks me "is that her daughter?"
2. we were walking past the golf cart on our way back to the cabin, and one of my girls asks me why we have a golf cart when no one here plays golf. another one of them says "golf is a sport for rich guys with too much time on their hands."
3. written in one of my camper essays: "i made new friends through Christ, because i was lonely the first day, but then Christ told me 'go ahead, make new friends but keep the old', so i did."
what can you pray for?
REST. energy. motivation. i should not be this burnt out two weeks in!! i'm frustrated as all get out with myself, and i don't like that.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
week 1: 12 more of them.
staff week was a total success, and then this was the best first week i've ever had. the new staff have all done so great and we all work together amazingly! God is doing SO much.
i have fifth graders in my cabin this year and i LOVE them! i've had sixth graders and their attitudes before, and i've had third graders and their homesickness, but i never knew how perfect and easy and fun the in-between ages were. fourth and fifth graders are young enough to love you and think you're cool, but old enough to make friends with each other and not need to be clinging on you all the time. they've still got some of their sweetness but can have really intelligent conversations too. don't get me wrong, i had tons of fun with my third graders last year and i've had some great sixth graders, but this is just the best mix of everything.
this week i had one of the best cabin groups i've ever had. they were some of the best behaved and the most fun at the same time! we could be laughing and bouncing off the walls playing a game, and the second i said it was time to calm down or do something or go to bed, it was like someone flipped a switch and they'd listen and do anything for me. some of my favorite moments:
-one of the in-the-cabin rules is when the lights are out, that means no talking. well, thursday night they got done with showers early as always. we played games until about 9:50(five minutes past when they were supposed to be on their bunks), then they got in their beds and before devotions like i always do, i had them all share about the best part of their day. we were laughing and talking and having so much fun that it got to be 10:15 before i finally looked at the time. i got up and said "okay yall, i love you guys, but i like my job so we need to go to sleep..." they laughed and laid down and i walked over to the light switch and one of them says "no, don't cut the light off yet!" i asked why, and she said, really sadly "well, because we won't be able to talk anymore."
then the next day when their parents were picking them up. we have this big hill from the dining hall that the girls come down when they're coming to say goodbye to us and get signed out and everything, and most of the girls run down the hill to their parents. we never care since it's the last day and they're about to leave, but they're technically supposed to walk. anyways, one of my girls moms got there, and a minute later she was walking down the hill. her mom goes running towards her, and morgan, still walking, says "hey mom! i can't run...no, i'm coming! i just can't run!"
sweet things wouldn't break the rules for anything.
-i observe tie-dye tuesday religiously. so on tuesday morning i woke up the girls, went to get dressed, then came out and saw one of them had on a tie-dye shirt. i said "hey, happy tie dye tuesday!" three others look from the tie-dye girl to me, go back in the bathroom, and a minute later they've all got on tie-dye too.
-also on friday. usually when i have a great group like this i'm already crying before we sing our goodbye songs after lunch, but got through the singing okay...and then i come back to my table and every one of my girls is in tears group hugging, except for my little twins(they were in their chairs with their sunglasses on, refusing to look at me because they said they didn't want to make me cry). so we all hugged and cried and then i went down to wait for all of their rides to get there. and i didn't cry when any of them left, but of course the twins were the last two left, and they were still crying. once they left, i turned to head back to clean my cabin and i bawled my eyes out for ten minutes.
besides my own cabin, i had about thirty or forty old campers spread around camp. another totally awesome thing about having the middle age this year is since last year i had the youngest ones, they've all grown up into middle age now, so i have tons of them in my unit. monday at lunch i seriously had fifteen kids scream my name when i walked in, and i remembered all their names and they were telling me stories all week from last year or years before, and it's just crazy. i'm that staffer that everyone knows. even when i was a camper and knew i'd work here someday, i never thought i'd get there. crazy, crazy, crazy.
when i got back to my cabin on friday, and i was getting the "see all the empty bunks and get sad" moment over with, and i said to my CIT "this is super dumb. i don't know why i'm crying so much, i get 12 more of them on monday!"
but that's what's dumb. i don't. i'll get 12 more campers, but i won't get 12 more of these. and even though that's sort of sad, it's what i love most about camp. i get 12 totally new, special, wonderful girls to pour into and give the five best days of their life to.
okay enough seriousness. this week's funny camper story:
-i was walking to dinner, and the twins were holding my hands like usual. the one on my left looked at my ring, and with the most priceless look on her face, says "you're not married already are you??" i said no, and she asked what the ring was for. i never know how to explain it but i just said "it just means i'm waiting for God to bring me my husband." the one on my right says "well don't worry, you are DEFINITELY gonna get married. you're a REAL nice lady." and the other one says "yeah, and you're REALLY pretty. i mean, you SHOULD be married already!"
and here's what you can pray for this week:
-we have a full camp! well, about 175 campers i think...but it's a lot. pray that everything goes smoothly as some people get moved around and some get to be cabin leaders for the first time. full camps are the best even though they're more stressful. we used to have them all the time so they make me happy. it's like the old days when i never knew what less than 16 open cabins looked like.
-i lost my voice...funnily enough it wasn't even at camp, but one way or another i need to be able to talk and yell and sing by monday.
-this is our first week having acteens!(camp speak for 7-12th graders) pray for their cabin leaders and staff a lot. older girls need such different things from their staffers; third graders just need you to braid their hair and tell them their pottery looks good, but high schoolers need you to answer big life questions and make them feel like they aren't little kids.
-really, everything has gone so great that i can't really think of much for specifically me. so i guess just pray that i keep listening to God and doing his work, that i will NOT let satan get me all full of pride, that i'll remember to thank God for all the great stuff going on and give him the credit for it, because it is most definitely NOT me that's responsible for all this.
i have fifth graders in my cabin this year and i LOVE them! i've had sixth graders and their attitudes before, and i've had third graders and their homesickness, but i never knew how perfect and easy and fun the in-between ages were. fourth and fifth graders are young enough to love you and think you're cool, but old enough to make friends with each other and not need to be clinging on you all the time. they've still got some of their sweetness but can have really intelligent conversations too. don't get me wrong, i had tons of fun with my third graders last year and i've had some great sixth graders, but this is just the best mix of everything.
this week i had one of the best cabin groups i've ever had. they were some of the best behaved and the most fun at the same time! we could be laughing and bouncing off the walls playing a game, and the second i said it was time to calm down or do something or go to bed, it was like someone flipped a switch and they'd listen and do anything for me. some of my favorite moments:
-one of the in-the-cabin rules is when the lights are out, that means no talking. well, thursday night they got done with showers early as always. we played games until about 9:50(five minutes past when they were supposed to be on their bunks), then they got in their beds and before devotions like i always do, i had them all share about the best part of their day. we were laughing and talking and having so much fun that it got to be 10:15 before i finally looked at the time. i got up and said "okay yall, i love you guys, but i like my job so we need to go to sleep..." they laughed and laid down and i walked over to the light switch and one of them says "no, don't cut the light off yet!" i asked why, and she said, really sadly "well, because we won't be able to talk anymore."
then the next day when their parents were picking them up. we have this big hill from the dining hall that the girls come down when they're coming to say goodbye to us and get signed out and everything, and most of the girls run down the hill to their parents. we never care since it's the last day and they're about to leave, but they're technically supposed to walk. anyways, one of my girls moms got there, and a minute later she was walking down the hill. her mom goes running towards her, and morgan, still walking, says "hey mom! i can't run...no, i'm coming! i just can't run!"
sweet things wouldn't break the rules for anything.
-i observe tie-dye tuesday religiously. so on tuesday morning i woke up the girls, went to get dressed, then came out and saw one of them had on a tie-dye shirt. i said "hey, happy tie dye tuesday!" three others look from the tie-dye girl to me, go back in the bathroom, and a minute later they've all got on tie-dye too.
-also on friday. usually when i have a great group like this i'm already crying before we sing our goodbye songs after lunch, but got through the singing okay...and then i come back to my table and every one of my girls is in tears group hugging, except for my little twins(they were in their chairs with their sunglasses on, refusing to look at me because they said they didn't want to make me cry). so we all hugged and cried and then i went down to wait for all of their rides to get there. and i didn't cry when any of them left, but of course the twins were the last two left, and they were still crying. once they left, i turned to head back to clean my cabin and i bawled my eyes out for ten minutes.
besides my own cabin, i had about thirty or forty old campers spread around camp. another totally awesome thing about having the middle age this year is since last year i had the youngest ones, they've all grown up into middle age now, so i have tons of them in my unit. monday at lunch i seriously had fifteen kids scream my name when i walked in, and i remembered all their names and they were telling me stories all week from last year or years before, and it's just crazy. i'm that staffer that everyone knows. even when i was a camper and knew i'd work here someday, i never thought i'd get there. crazy, crazy, crazy.
when i got back to my cabin on friday, and i was getting the "see all the empty bunks and get sad" moment over with, and i said to my CIT "this is super dumb. i don't know why i'm crying so much, i get 12 more of them on monday!"
but that's what's dumb. i don't. i'll get 12 more campers, but i won't get 12 more of these. and even though that's sort of sad, it's what i love most about camp. i get 12 totally new, special, wonderful girls to pour into and give the five best days of their life to.
okay enough seriousness. this week's funny camper story:
-i was walking to dinner, and the twins were holding my hands like usual. the one on my left looked at my ring, and with the most priceless look on her face, says "you're not married already are you??" i said no, and she asked what the ring was for. i never know how to explain it but i just said "it just means i'm waiting for God to bring me my husband." the one on my right says "well don't worry, you are DEFINITELY gonna get married. you're a REAL nice lady." and the other one says "yeah, and you're REALLY pretty. i mean, you SHOULD be married already!"
and here's what you can pray for this week:
-we have a full camp! well, about 175 campers i think...but it's a lot. pray that everything goes smoothly as some people get moved around and some get to be cabin leaders for the first time. full camps are the best even though they're more stressful. we used to have them all the time so they make me happy. it's like the old days when i never knew what less than 16 open cabins looked like.
-i lost my voice...funnily enough it wasn't even at camp, but one way or another i need to be able to talk and yell and sing by monday.
-this is our first week having acteens!(camp speak for 7-12th graders) pray for their cabin leaders and staff a lot. older girls need such different things from their staffers; third graders just need you to braid their hair and tell them their pottery looks good, but high schoolers need you to answer big life questions and make them feel like they aren't little kids.
-really, everything has gone so great that i can't really think of much for specifically me. so i guess just pray that i keep listening to God and doing his work, that i will NOT let satan get me all full of pride, that i'll remember to thank God for all the great stuff going on and give him the credit for it, because it is most definitely NOT me that's responsible for all this.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
the story behind the title...
no, that's not a typo, and yes, there's a reason for the weird spelling.
this past week(which i'll write about next) i went to camp mccall for adventure rec training. our group had to make up a list of goals to hold each other to as we went through the ropes course and did other challenges. we had like ten things, but we really wanted to make an acronym-type word out of them, so we kept narrowing them down until we had five things: Jesus-love(you had to be there), Trust, Support, Unity and Humility. someone pointed out that if only we didn't have the H, we could spell JUST. someone else suggested making the H silent, so we thought about where to fit it in, and eventually we all decided on JUHST(and it works because humility involves a lot of silence).
as you'll read when i get around to finishing my long draft about it, that week was ridiculously amazing and God showed me so much about this summer there, so i wanted the title to come from that. and while i was trying to think of ideas, i happened to have the song "just another day in paradise" in my head(another you-had-to-be-there moment). i thought about how this is just another summer, and then eventually i put everything together and bam. JUHST another summer. =]
this past week(which i'll write about next) i went to camp mccall for adventure rec training. our group had to make up a list of goals to hold each other to as we went through the ropes course and did other challenges. we had like ten things, but we really wanted to make an acronym-type word out of them, so we kept narrowing them down until we had five things: Jesus-love(you had to be there), Trust, Support, Unity and Humility. someone pointed out that if only we didn't have the H, we could spell JUST. someone else suggested making the H silent, so we thought about where to fit it in, and eventually we all decided on JUHST(and it works because humility involves a lot of silence).
as you'll read when i get around to finishing my long draft about it, that week was ridiculously amazing and God showed me so much about this summer there, so i wanted the title to come from that. and while i was trying to think of ideas, i happened to have the song "just another day in paradise" in my head(another you-had-to-be-there moment). i thought about how this is just another summer, and then eventually i put everything together and bam. JUHST another summer. =]
the best summer ever no matter what.
i've been excited about this summer in a different way than i have before, for a lot longer than i usually am. since april-ish i've just had this big feeling that God is about to do something crazy awesome.
and the fact that i get to be a part of it is just crazy.
on june 3rd i'll be leaving for my fifth summer at la vida. that's one of those phrases like "i'm a senior at ciu" that feels more real, and then more scary, every time i say it to someone. it didn't really hit me until this week. i don't know many people who lasted five years. and now i'm one of them. crazy, crazy, crazy.(more on that here. and by the way, my general camp rants are on that blog; this one is just about this summer. so for now that one has a lot more, and better, stuff)
anyways, this is where you can come if i haven't written or called and you want to know what's going on! my goal is to post every saturday. i'll put up camper stories, what God is doing, deep truths from tori, what i learned that week, probably pictures, and most definitely prayer requests.
and as you know, i LOVE mail...so if you want to make my day:
[whatever name you usually call me; they'll figure it out]
218 La Vida Rd
Winnsboro, SC 29180
while i try to write people on my own, i definitely write people back, so if you want a guarantee of mail from me, send me some first! and also, my campers love it when i get letters...i get so excited they laugh at me. so you could think of it as a ministry opportunity. ;)
but more than anything else, please please pray! specifically:
-that God keeps my pride in check. i need to remember that i'm not here because of anything i did and give all the glory to God for giving me the best job in the world and making me good at it. as he so painfully showed me last summer, none of that has anything to do with anything i know or am able to do...i don't want to forget that and try to run the show on my own again.
-that everything i do or say this summer, whether to my campers or other staff, will be out of love. i want my campers to go home with a better understanding of God's love for them because of the love they saw in me.
-for community. God put this staff on my heart back in february, and me and kathleen have been praying about it a lot. pray for us that we'll love each other, show each other grace as the summer goes on and drama starts up, have each other's backs and push each other closer to Christ.
that's all i can think of now, but i'll post more every week! prayer means even more to me than mail. so if you don't have time or stamps, just send one up to God for me and you'll be my favorite.
and the fact that i get to be a part of it is just crazy.
on june 3rd i'll be leaving for my fifth summer at la vida. that's one of those phrases like "i'm a senior at ciu" that feels more real, and then more scary, every time i say it to someone. it didn't really hit me until this week. i don't know many people who lasted five years. and now i'm one of them. crazy, crazy, crazy.(more on that here. and by the way, my general camp rants are on that blog; this one is just about this summer. so for now that one has a lot more, and better, stuff)
anyways, this is where you can come if i haven't written or called and you want to know what's going on! my goal is to post every saturday. i'll put up camper stories, what God is doing, deep truths from tori, what i learned that week, probably pictures, and most definitely prayer requests.
and as you know, i LOVE mail...so if you want to make my day:
[whatever name you usually call me; they'll figure it out]
218 La Vida Rd
Winnsboro, SC 29180
while i try to write people on my own, i definitely write people back, so if you want a guarantee of mail from me, send me some first! and also, my campers love it when i get letters...i get so excited they laugh at me. so you could think of it as a ministry opportunity. ;)
but more than anything else, please please pray! specifically:
-that God keeps my pride in check. i need to remember that i'm not here because of anything i did and give all the glory to God for giving me the best job in the world and making me good at it. as he so painfully showed me last summer, none of that has anything to do with anything i know or am able to do...i don't want to forget that and try to run the show on my own again.
-that everything i do or say this summer, whether to my campers or other staff, will be out of love. i want my campers to go home with a better understanding of God's love for them because of the love they saw in me.
-for community. God put this staff on my heart back in february, and me and kathleen have been praying about it a lot. pray for us that we'll love each other, show each other grace as the summer goes on and drama starts up, have each other's backs and push each other closer to Christ.
that's all i can think of now, but i'll post more every week! prayer means even more to me than mail. so if you don't have time or stamps, just send one up to God for me and you'll be my favorite.
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